Are Would You Rather Questions Good Openers on Hinge?

Sometimes. A would you rather works as an opener when both options come from something on her page and the choice is genuinely close. The generic ones, like pizza or tacos, work like a "hey" with a question mark: she can answer in one word and nothing follows. Use one when it is built for her, and leave it out when it is not.

A would you rather asks her to do the work. She has to pick, explain her pick, and then ask you something back. When the options are interchangeable, none of that is worth her time.

"Would you rather have free flights or free food for life" could go to any woman on the app. If a line works equally well on a hundred women, it tells her you did not look at her.

The question also puts you in the examiner's chair. She has just been handed a quiz by a stranger, and the polite response is a short answer and a scroll.

The fix is to make both options come from her page. Look at what she gave you: a photo of a dog, a line about her weekends, a trip, a favorite food.

Say her prompt mentions a Sunday spent hiking and a Sunday spent in bed with a book. Then: "Honest Sunday question. Would you rather get up for the sunrise hike, or stay in and lose the whole day to a book? I am afraid I know your answer." It uses two things she said, it takes a light guess, and it is easy to answer.

The trick is that it reads as attention, not a game. She can tell the options came from her.

If one option is obviously right, the question is not a choice. "Would you rather have a great weekend or a terrible one" is a statement in a costume.

Pick two things she might actually weigh. Two kinds of trip, two ways to spend an evening, two foods she has mentioned. If you would have to stop and think about your own answer, it is probably close enough.

When you are not sure, add a twist that makes her defend her pick: "Would you rather have the best slice of pizza of your life once, or a pretty good one every week?" Now she is picking a philosophy, not a topping.

A would you rather that stops after the question leaves her alone with it. Add your own pick in half a sentence, which gives her something to agree with or push against.

"Would you rather hike the sunrise or read all day? I am going with the hike, though I would not turn down the book." Now there is a small disagreement or agreement to play with, and she does not have to invent the whole reply.

a dating coach's approach to a first message is to comment, tease a little, and keep it short. A would you rather with your answer attached is one version of that. Read your draft aloud, and if it takes longer than two sentences, cut it.

Skip it when her page gives you nothing to build from. A forced question on an empty page is the generic version again.

Skip it when she has written something personal or serious. A game is the wrong response to a prompt about her family or a hard year. Answer what she said.

Skip it when a normal comment would do. A would you rather is one tool among several, and a plain reaction to something she wrote is usually stronger.

She will usually pick one and give a reason, and the reason is the useful part. Reply to the reason, not the pick. If she chose the book because she likes a quiet day, you now have a place to go: a cafe, a bookshop, a place that serves coffee all afternoon.

Do not keep the game running. A string of would you rathers turns into pen pals, and no date comes out of it. After she answers, use what you learned and head toward meeting. a dating coach gets a woman to a number in about four to seven messages, and a drink is the plan.

If you find yourself sending the same would you rather to everyone, stop. It is a fine tool when it is built for one woman and a lazy one when it is pasted. Her page does the heavy lifting if you let it, and you only have to turn what she gave you into a short question she wants to answer.