Want to Win $200? Submit Your Online Dating Profile & Let's See What You Got..

Use one clear photo of your face as the first image. Take it outside or stand near a large window. Keep the camera at eye level. Wear a clean shirt that fits your shoulders.

Do not use sunglasses in the first photo. Do not cover your face with a hat. Do not use a group photo where she has to guess which man is you.

A good first photo lets her see your eyes, hair, face shape, and smile. She should know what you look like before she scrolls.

One of our students used a photo from a crowded party as his first image. Four women stood beside him. He also had a beer in his hand and red eyes from the camera flash. He thought the photo showed that he had an active social life.

It showed that she had to search the picture to find him.

He replaced it with a photo of himself outside a coffee shop. He wore a plain blue shirt and smiled at the camera. His profile made more sense before he changed a single word.

Use four to six photos in total. Give each photo a job.

Show your face. Show your full body. Show one activity you enjoy. Show one place you like to spend time. Use a photo with friends only after she already knows which man is you.

Most profiles sound like this:

“I like to have fun, travel, and try new things. Looking for someone honest and loyal.”

None of those lines gives her a picture. Almost every person says the same thing. She cannot ask a good question from it.

Replace broad claims with details she can see.

Write:

“I make spicy noodles when I get home late. I still use the same small pan I bought in college.”

Or:

“I spend Saturday mornings at the farmers market, then cook whatever looks good.”

Those lines give her something to ask about. She can ask what kind of noodles you make. She can tell you what she buys at the market. You have made it easy for her to start talking.

Your profile should show how you spend your time. Name the place, food, sport, class, or hobby. If you like live music, name the kind. If you lift weights, say what you train. If you cook, name the meal you make well.

Avoid writing a list of traits.

“I’m funny, confident, ambitious, and easygoing” does not prove anything. Show the trait through a small event.

“I once drove across town because a bakery sold out of the only cake my sister likes” tells her more than “I’m thoughtful.”

Many men use their profile to screen women before they have spoken to them.

“No drama.”

“Don’t waste my time.”

“If you’re not serious, swipe left.”

“Must be fit.”

These lines may come from bad past dates. They still make your profile feel like a set of rules posted on a wall. A woman who has never met you now has to defend herself from problems caused by someone else.

Say what you want without sounding angry.

Write:

“I like women who enjoy going out, speak their minds, and make time to see each other.”

That tells her what matters to you. It does not accuse her of lying, using you, or wasting your time.

Leave out long complaints about dating apps. Leave out jokes about women being bad at texting. Leave out comments about how many matches you get. She cannot see the confident man you want to be. She sees a man keeping score.

Your profile should make a woman curious about your life. It should not make her wonder if you will judge every small thing she says.

A weak prompt answer ends the exchange.

“My simple pleasure is relaxing.”

“My typical Sunday is sleeping in.”

“The way to win me over is food.”

These answers give her nowhere to go. She may like food too, but she still has no clear question.

Choose a prompt that lets you share a short story or a strong opinion.

Try:

“The best meal I make is chicken tacos with too much lime. I’m still trying to beat the small place near my apartment.”

Or:

“I’ll always stop for a dog wearing a raincoat. I don’t care if I’m already late.”

Now she can ask about the tacos, name her favorite food, or send a photo of a dog. The answer gives her a simple way to join the conversation.

Keep each answer short. Two or three lines are enough. Your profile is not a life story. It is a quick look at your life that gives her a reason to ask a question.

Read every line out loud before you post it. If you would never say the sentence to a woman at a bar, remove it.

Look at your photos and words together. Do they show the same man?

If your photos show only drinks and parties, but your profile says you want a calm home life, the message feels mixed. If every photo is a gym mirror shot, she may think your whole life takes place in front of a mirror.

One guy I coached wrote that he loved the outdoors. His photos showed a bedroom, a car, and three bathroom mirrors. He did own hiking boots, but nothing on his profile showed that part of his life.

He changed one photo to a trail picture. He kept his face clear and used a photo from the chest up. He also added one line about the lake he visits when he wants a quiet walk.

Now his claim had proof.

Read your profile as if you had never met yourself. Can a woman picture where you go, what you eat, and what your Saturday looks like?

If she can, your profile has done its job.