Should You Use OkCupid or Match?

Start with OkCupid if you will answer its questions honestly and write a real page. Add Match if you want to search for women yourself and message them without waiting for a like back. The two dating apps reward different men, and the quickest way to settle it for your own city is to run both free for a week and count your matches.

OkCupid works from questions. You answer as many as you like, and each woman shows a Match percentage built from those answers and from what each of you wants. In Discover you see one woman at a time and like her or pass. A mutual like opens a chat, free.

Match works from search. You set what you want, then look through Discover, Search and Mutual Search, and tap the blue heart to Like a woman. If she Likes you back, you have a match and can chat. Free members can chat with every match.

So one app hands you women ranked by agreement, and the other lets you go and pick.

OkCupid rewards a man who puts effort in. a dating coach describes it as one of the more hackable sites he has used, meaning a little work on the setup produced real results. He also notes that on longer-form apps, your page matters more than on Tinder.

It is also the better place for a man who is a little unusual. A strong opinion or an odd hobby is a risk on a photo app and a reason to be liked on OkCupid, because a shared answer shows up in the percentage.

It costs you effort. A man who will not answer the questions or write a few good lines gets little from it.

Match lets a paying member find a woman and write to her without a mutual swipe first. coach calls that one of its real advantages. On the swipe apps a woman's age or height setting can hide you from her even when she would have liked you in person. Search gets around that, because you choose whom to write to.

That matters most for a man the swipe apps filter out, such as a man over 40 chasing women younger than the app thinks he should.

Size. coach says Match used to be the biggest app and now holds a smaller share of the women most men want to meet, so he does not treat it as a main site. In a big city that may not hurt you. In a smaller place a search can run dry fast.

It also costs more to use fully. The free version lets you chat with every match, and the paid tiers add search and reach. Plans renew on their own and Match says an active plan cannot be paused, so set a reminder the day you buy.

• You like to write, enjoy questions and want slower, better matches: OkCupid first.
• You want to choose the women you contact and are willing to pay: Match, as a second site.
• You are over 40 and the swipe apps barely show you to anyone: try Match search early.
• You have almost no time: pick one, give it two honest weeks, and keep whichever produces dates.

Nothing stops you from using both. My advice on apps in general is to run more than one and let the results decide. A man who struggles on one and does well on another has learned something useful about which pool suits him.

Photos decide whether she stops. Put a clear daylight shot of your face first, then photos of you doing things.

The first message decides whether she answers. Pick one real detail from her page, say something a little playful about it, and end on a question she can answer in a line. A "hi" gets skipped on either one.

And the plan decides whether any of it matters. coach usually gets a woman from the app to her number within four to seven messages, with every message moving toward a drink. Chat that never turns into a date is a hobby.

Be selective too. Liking nearly everyone tends to make an app treat you as less attractive, on both of these. Like the women you would be glad to hear from.

Use both for two weeks with the same best photos. Write down four numbers for each: women you liked, matches, conversations that started and dates you set.

If OkCupid gives you more conversations, stay there and do not pay for anything yet. If Match gives you more, and it is the search that is doing it, a paid tier may be worth a month. If neither gives you much, fix your photos before you spend a cent, because a subscription multiplies a good page and does nothing for a weak one.