How Many Match Questions Should You Answer on OkCupid?

Answer 50 to 100 to start. OkCupid asks you a short set of questions when you sign up, and its Match Questions page suggests getting to somewhere between 50 and 100 out of the several hundred in the system. The more you answer, the better the algorithm can find women you are compatible with, and you can skip any question or answer it privately.

OkCupid builds your Match % by comparing how you and a woman answered the same questions. That only works where your answers overlap.

With just the sign-up questions done, there is very little for that comparison to work with, so your percentages rest on thin evidence. At 50 to 100, you have given OkCupid far more to compare, and the number starts to mean something.

You can keep going past 100 if you enjoy it. OkCupid's own advice is that more answers help it find compatible people. But the first stretch matters most, because it takes you from almost nothing to a real basis for comparison.

The questions only help if your answers are true. It is tempting to answer the way you think women want a man to answer. That just trains the algorithm to pair you with women who would suit someone else.

a dating coach learned this on the apps in general. His results got dramatically better when he stopped trying to be acceptable to every woman and let his real opinions show. By his account, he got several times more matches once he was willing to put some women off. Honest answers on OkCupid work the same way. They push the women you would clash with down your list and bring the women who would enjoy you up.

So answer the question about going out versus staying in the way your actual weekends look. Answer the one about kids the way you actually feel.

You don't have to answer every question you are shown. OkCupid lets you skip a question, and it lets you answer a question privately.

Skip the ones that don't matter to you or that you can't answer honestly. There is no prize for answering a question about something you have never thought about, and a guess adds noise.

Answer privately when the question matters to you but you would rather not have your answer on display. That way you can give an honest answer without putting it in front of every stranger who looks at you.

Not all questions are equal. Put your effort into the ones that reflect how you live and what you want in someone.

The useful ones tend to cover daily life and values. Think of how you spend your free time, how you feel about drinking, whether you want kids, and what role religion or politics plays for you. Those are the answers that decide whether a second date feels easy or awkward. If a question touches something that would be a deal-ender for you, answer it honestly. That one answer can save you a wasted evening.

Questions about trivia or small hypotheticals are fine to answer for fun. Just don't let them crowd out the ones that matter.

The questions do more than set a percentage. They give you something to talk about.

When you look at a woman you like, check the questions where you agree, and the one or two where you don't. A shared answer about travel or a mild disagreement about pineapple on pizza makes a far better first message than "hey" or a comment on her looks.

Say you both answered that a good weekend means getting out of the city. "You'd rather be out of town on a Saturday too. Mountains or beach, and you can't say both" is short, specific and easy to answer. A disagreement works as well, as long as it stays playful. Teasing her gently about the answer you disagree on shows confidence. Arguing with it doesn't.

My approach to a first message is to get her attention first. Women ignore far more men than they answer, so a short, playful line about something specific she said stands out. From there he aims to give her a feel for who he is and bring up the idea of meeting early, so that asking for her number a few messages later feels natural.

Some men treat the questions as the main event. They answer hundreds, polish their percentages, and send very few messages.

My rule is that the point of being online is to get offline. Get to 50 to 100 honest answers, then spend your time on the part that produces dates: choosing women you are drawn to, writing good first messages, and moving each conversation toward a drink.