How to Use Match.com Successfully?

Use it like a three-week project with one goal: dates with women you were glad to meet. Spend the first week on a page worth a Like and a free trial, the second on writing real messages to women you chose, and the third on turning matches and messages into plans. Pay only if the free weeks give you something to multiply.

a dating coach tells men to name their dating goal before they build a page. If you cannot say whether you want a relationship or something casual, the page ends up vague, and you attract neither.

Write it as one plain sentence you would say to a woman across a table. "I want a relationship with someone who likes a plan and a good detour" does the job. A page attracts whatever it describes, so decide before you type.

Match shows your page only after you have at least one clear photo of your face and three photos in total, and it reviews the text before it goes live. So the setup is not instant. Do it properly once.

• Lead with a clear daylight photo of your face, alone in the frame.
• Add photos that show a real week, on different days and in different clothes.
• Write a few specific lines about your life, then one line about what you want.
• Skip adjectives like funny and loyal. Show one thing you did.

Then use the free version. It lets you chat with every match, rate a daily set of recommended profiles and browse curated members. Write down how many women you Liked, how many Liked you back and how many agreed to meet. Those three numbers tell you whether paying would multiply something or nothing.

Match is not a pure swipe app. You can look through Discover, Search, Mutual Search and Reverse Search, and a paying member can write to a woman directly. coach calls that one of its real advantages, because a woman's age or height setting on a swipe app can hide you from her when she would have liked you in person.

Keep your filters honest and not too narrow. A tiny slice of women gives the site little to show you.

When you write, use one real detail from her page, make it a little playful, and end on a question she can answer in a line. Send one message, not three. My point about messages is that women ignore far more men than they answer, so a message has to earn the open.

A conversation that never leaves the site is a hobby. coach usually moves a woman from the app to her number in four to seven messages, with every message heading toward a drink. Suggest something simple and specific, a place near one of you and a named evening, and let her change it.

If she asks for a short call first, say yes. coach finds a call makes a woman far more likely to turn up and glad to see you.

Then keep the first date short and local. A coffee or a drink close to home is easy to plan and easy to extend if it goes well.

Match sells Bronze, Silver, Platinum and Diamond, each adding to the one below, plus add-ons and one-time features such as Boost. What each includes changes, so read the screen on the day you buy.

coach is not against paying. He says men are too reluctant to spend on dating, and that apps look after paying members. His rule is that a paid feature multiplies a result you already have. If the free weeks produced replies, a month of a paid tier may speed things up. If they produced silence, a subscription changes nothing about what a woman sees on your page.

Plans renew on their own, and Match says an active plan cannot be paused. Start with the shortest plan, set a reminder the day you buy, and turn off renewal if you have decided to stop.

• Buying a long plan on day one. It is a large payment you cannot pause.
• Collecting Likes. A woman who Likes you back is a start. A plan is the result.
• Liking nearly everyone. coach warns that it tends to make an app treat you as less attractive.
• Judging it after three days. coach compares online dating to building an asset, where the men who fail mostly quit too early.
• Using it as your only source. Match is no longer the biggest app, so run a second one beside it and keep whichever gives you dates.

Each week, count Likes sent, Likes back, conversations, numbers and dates. If Likes back are low, work on the photos. If conversations are low, work on the first message. If dates are low, suggest the drink sooner.

Change one thing at a time. After three weeks you will know whether Match earns a place on your phone, and you will know which part of your page to fix if it does not.