How to Pick Up Women on a Cruise

To pick up girls on a cruise, play a longer and quieter game than you would in a bar at home. You will see her again tomorrow at the pool, so the first conversation only has to end well, not end with a kiss. Learn her name, find out what she is doing tomorrow, and invite her to one specific thing: the late show, a drink on the top deck at sunset, the ship's club after midnight. Make that plan face to face, because phones barely work at sea, and keep your interest discreet, because on a ship everyone notices who is chasing whom.

A big cruise ship holds a few thousand people for a week, and nobody can leave. That cuts both ways.

The upside is repeated contact. You might see a woman five times a day without trying: at breakfast, at the pool, on the stairs, at dinner, at the bar. Each friendly sighting adds a little trust, and trust is what makes her say yes later.

The downside is that you cannot disappear after a bad night. Come on too strong at the pool on Monday and you will be stepping around her until Saturday. So treat each meeting as one small step forward, not a sprint.

The first hello only needs to do three things. Get her name, find out where she is from, and learn what she has planned for tomorrow. Then let her go back to her friends while the conversation is still good.

The next time you see her is where the attraction builds. Use what she told you. Ask how the snorkeling trip went, or whether her friend ever won at blackjack. A man who remembers details stands out on a ship full of men who ask the same three questions every time.

Wi-Fi at sea is slow and usually sold by the day, and plenty of passengers keep their phones switched off the whole trip. "I'll text you" often means you never find each other again.

So say the plan out loud, with a time and a place. "We're going to the comedy show at ten. Meet us at the bar right outside." Or, "I'll be up on the top deck for the sunset tomorrow. Come find me." A specific plan is easy to say yes to, and it gives her a reason to show up rather than to hope she bumps into you.

On land, a man who hits on every woman in the bar is forgotten by the next weekend. On a ship, the women at the pool all talk, and they talk at dinner, in the spa and in the cabins they share.

Be friendly with everyone, men included. Spend time with her friends rather than trying to peel her away in the first five minutes. Go easy on the drinks package. The man who is relaxed, fun and decent to everyone becomes the guy women vouch for, and that makes every later step easier.

She may share her cabin with two friends or with her mother, which rules out her room. If you want time alone, your cabin is usually the private option. Get there gradually. A walk on a quiet deck late at night, or a drink at a small bar away from the crowd, is a natural way to find out whether she wants more time with you.

Never push, and take a hesitant answer as a no for tonight. Leave the crew out of your plans as well. Staff are working, and most cruise lines forbid crew from getting involved with guests.

The final morning of a cruise is chaos. Everyone is up at dawn, dragging luggage and racing for a flight. A woman you planned to say goodbye to properly vanishes in the crowd.

Swap numbers or Instagram on the second to last night, while you can still make one more plan on board. If she lives in your city or nearby, suggest a date once you are both home. A cruise romance that carries over to land starts with that one practical step.

If you know what to do but stall before you walk over, the ship will not fix that for you. Seven days at sea is a long time to spend wishing you had said hello. Cold Approach's Bootcamp trains the walk-over in person in Miami and New York, with a coach giving you feedback after each set so the next one goes better. Group means three days back to back, with no more than two other students per coach. Private means a coach working with you alone for one, two or three days. You do not need any experience to join, and approach anxiety is what the program specializes in.