How to Pick Up Women in a Dive Bar

Walk in, look around, and if a girl you like is there, say hello within a minute or two with a plain comment about the place. If nobody catches your eye, finish your drink and try the next bar down the block. A dive bar has no bouncer to impress, no table to buy and nobody dressed to be seen. A relaxed, slightly playful man who fits the room has an easier time there than almost anywhere else at night.

Plenty of men skip dive bars because they assume the attractive women are all at the expensive places. Some are. But a lot of women do not plan their nights around the hottest venue. They go where their friends or coworkers drag them, and that is often the cheap bar around the corner from the office.

a dating coach calls dives the bottom tier of night game, and bar hopping through them is one of his favorite ways to spend a night out. It is not uncommon, in his words, to find a stunning girl who was dragged out by her work friends to a total dive bar. There is no line and no planning, so you can walk in at any hour and talk to whoever is there.

He likes them even more midweek. A girl who is out at a dive bar on a Tuesday wanted to go out, wants to meet people and usually has no plan for the rest of the night. As a dating coach puts it, "when you meet a hot girl out at a dive bar midweek she basically has nothing to do that's anywhere near as interesting as talk to you."

The dive bar method is to move. Find a street with three or four of them close together. Walk into the first, take one lap, and decide fast. If there is a girl you want to meet, go talk to her. If there is not, leave and try the next one.

What kills a night in a dive bar is standing in the corner for an hour hoping the room changes. It will not. Small bars have small crowds, and the crowd you see in the first five minutes is mostly the crowd you get. Keep walking, and keep your first approach in each place quick.

Dive bars are full of things to talk about, which makes opening easy:

• The jukebox: "Okay, who put this song on? I need to know who to blame."
• The pool table or darts: "Are you any good, or is that just confidence? Want to play doubles?"
• The decor: "I've been staring at that moose head for ten minutes. What's its story?"
• The drinks: "What's the move here, the cheap beer or the questionable well whiskey?"

Games are your best friend in a dive. Asking a group of girls to play a round of pool or darts gives everybody something to do while you get to know each other, and nobody has to shout.

After the opener, say one thing about yourself so she has something to answer. "I live around the corner and I've never actually been in here" turns a line into a conversation.

A dive bar has a culture, and girls notice whether you respect it. Do not show up dressed for a club. Do not act like you are above the place, and do not make fun of the regulars. Order something simple, tip the bartender and be friendly to the people at the bar.

The regulars and the bartender are worth winning over. In a small room, a girl sees whether the locals like you, and a man who is chatting easily with the bartender looks like he belongs. That is social proof you did not have to buy.

The same signs apply here as in any bar. She is looking around rather than at her phone, she smiles at people near her, her body is open to the room, and she is waiting on something like a drink or a turn at the pool table. Those are the girls who will usually welcome a hello.

Dives also attract people who came for peace. A woman reading a book alone at the end of the bar, or a pair of friends hunched over a serious talk, may want to be left alone. Say hi once if you like. If the answer is short, let it go.

The good news about dive bars is that they cluster. If she is having fun with you, suggest the next spot: "This place is about to get sad. Come with me to the bar next door, I'll show you a better jukebox." Moving together is the strongest sign you have that the night is going somewhere. If she is staying with her friends, get her number and say you will text her tomorrow.

You can read openers all day and still stand in the doorway doing nothing. A Cold Approach Bootcamp puts you in real bars and lounges in Miami and New York, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you. Every training day is two four-hour blocks in the field, with live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set.

Group runs three consecutive days at a 3:1 student-to-coach ratio. Private is fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. Beginners are welcome, and you leave with a written practice plan.