How to Meet Women on a Plane with Friends

You can meet women on a plane when you are flying with friends, but the group changes how it lands. Three or four men talking across the aisle reads as a party she did not sign up for, and she cannot leave her seat to get away from it. So one of you starts the conversation, the rest stay friendly in the background, and the cabin is only for a short, light exchange. The real opportunity is what comes after: plans in the city you are both landing in.

A man in the seat next to her is a seat neighbor. A group of men in the rows around her is a scene. She is buckled in for two or five hours, the crew is walking past, and every passenger within three rows can hear what you say.

Most women are fine with a friendly word from the person beside them. What puts them off is feeling surrounded, especially if the group has started drinking. Keep that picture in mind and most of the decisions below make themselves.

Agree on this before you board. Whoever is seated closest to her, or whoever she has already smiled at, does the talking. Everyone else carries on with their own conversation and joins in only if she turns toward them.

Do not shuffle seats to put your friend next to her. Asking strangers to swap so a man can sit beside a woman he likes is obvious to her, and she cannot get away from the result.

And do not hunt for a matching group. a dating coach points out that men going out with wingmen often spend the whole night searching for two women who are both attractive, which wastes most of the night. If one of you likes one of them, that is enough.

The best place to meet a woman on your flight is often the gate area before boarding. She can stand, move or end the conversation whenever she likes, so a friendly hello costs her nothing.

Groups of women flying together are common, especially on weekend flights into cities like Miami and New York: a girls' trip, a birthday, a bachelorette. A group of women on holiday is often in a social mood, and this is where traveling with friends helps you. Group to group feels natural. Nobody is left standing alone while one person does all the talking, and your friends can chat with her friends instead of hovering.

Ask the easy question: "Are you all heading in for the weekend, or is someone getting married?" Then let the conversation spread across both groups.

If you end up next to her on the plane, start with something you share. The delay, the cramped seats, the drink cart, where she is headed. My suggestion for a stock question like "What brought you here?" is to have fun with the answer. Say "An airplane," smile, then give the real answer.

Give her something real about you, ask one question about her trip, and let her answer properly. After ten minutes or so, let her have her flight back. Put your headphones in, read, sleep. A good short chat followed by giving her space leaves her liking you. A three-hour interview leaves her counting the minutes.

Go easy on the drinks. Holiday mode plus altitude plus a group of friends egging each other on is how a pleasant flight turns into a complaint to the crew.

Landing in the same city is the strongest reason you will ever have to see a stranger again. Use it.

Before the aisle fills up, ask what they are planning for the trip. Mention where your group is headed that night. If she is warm, say "We should all meet up while you're here." When she agrees, ask "What's your number?" and text her straight away so she has yours. My rule is that you text or call her right then, because a woman who only has your number rarely uses it.

Baggage claim is your second chance. If the cabin was too cramped to talk, the carousel is a relaxed place to say hello to the women you noticed on board.

Friends help most when they are relaxed and friendly. They chat with her friends, laugh at your jokes without overdoing it, and leave you room when the two of you are clearly getting along.

They hurt most when they comment loudly after she walks away, tease you in front of her, film the interaction or all talk to the same woman at once. Agree beforehand that the person talking to her runs it, and that nobody mentions it in her hearing.

Talking to a woman while your friends watch is its own skill. It is one of the things Cold Approach teaches in the field: approaching women alone and with friends around.

The Cold Approach Bootcamp happens in person, in Miami and New York, with daygame on the streets and in cafes and night game in bars and lounges. Your coach is beside you for each approach and gives you feedback the moment each set ends. Choose a three-day Group, where each coach works with three students at most, or a Private of one, two or three days with a coach to yourself. Nobody is too new for it, the program is built around approach anxiety, and every student flies home with a written practice plan.