Is It OK to Approach a Woman on a Plane?

Yes, it is OK to approach a woman on a plane, as long as you remember that she cannot walk away. A seatmate is stuck beside you for hours, so start small, read her answer honestly and let her end the conversation whenever she wants. The easiest moments are often before and after the flight, at the gate, in the boarding line and at baggage claim, where she can leave if she likes.

On a street, a woman who is not interested keeps walking. On a plane she can't. If you misjudge it, she spends the next four hours pressed against the window trying to avoid your elbow. That is why the bar is higher here than almost anywhere else, and why the men who do it well start smaller.

The upside is real too. You share a trip, a destination and a lot of time. A seatmate who does want to talk has nowhere better to be.

The gate area works like any waiting room. People stand around, stare at screens and grumble about delays. A comment about the delay or a question about the flight is ordinary there, and she can end it by walking to the window.

The boarding line and the jet bridge give you a few seconds of shuffling side by side. Baggage claim gives you ten minutes of waiting for the carousel. If you noticed her on the flight but were not seated together, those are the places to say hello.

Say something small when you sit down. A hello, a joke about the overhead bins or an offer to let her have the armrest is enough. Her reaction tells you a lot. If she answers warmly and adds something, you can talk a bit more. If she nods and puts in her earbuds, she has answered you.

Keep the first exchange short even if it goes well. People settle in, watch the safety video and wait for takeoff. A second conversation an hour later, over the drinks cart or a bad movie choice, often goes better than one long first one.

Good signs: she turns toward you, asks questions back, takes out an earbud to listen and laughs. Bad signs: one-word answers, eyes back on her screen, her body angled toward the window.

On a plane, if you cannot tell, assume she would rather read. A pleasant five minutes is a fine outcome. Pushing for more when she is unsure turns a nice moment into a long, uncomfortable flight for both of you.

• Do not keep talking after she picks up her book.
• Do not touch her, lean into her space or comment on her body.
• Do not drink your way into a bolder version of yourself. Free wine and altitude are a bad mix.
• Do not look over at her screen or her phone.
• Do not turn a long flight into a long pitch.

A flight attendant will step in if a passenger complains, and that is a miserable way to spend the rest of a flight.

If you have talked a good deal and she is clearly enjoying it, ask during the descent. "I had a great flight because of you. Are you in town for a while? Let's get a drink." Taking out your phone while the plane taxis is natural, since everyone does it.

If she says she is not sure, leave it there and wish her a good trip. You will both stand up in five minutes, and you want the walk off the plane to be easy for her.

Reading a woman's answer quickly and honestly is a skill, and it grows fastest with someone watching. The Cold Approach Bootcamp is in person and fully in the field in Miami and New York, with your coach beside you on every approach and feedback after every set. Days mix daygame on streets and in cafes with night game in bars and lounges. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days, and there is no skill floor.