How to Meet Women at a Farmers Market Alone

To meet women at a farmers market alone, go when it is busiest, walk the stalls slowly and start a conversation about what she is looking at or buying. Going solo is an advantage here. Nobody is waiting for you, you can talk to any woman you see, and if it goes well you can suggest a coffee at the next stand without checking with a friend first. Every table hands you something to say, so the hard part is walking over, not finding the words.

Plenty of men feel strange going anywhere social without a friend. At a farmers market that worry has no basis. Half the people there are shopping by themselves, and a man browsing the stalls with a tote bag is just a man buying vegetables.

a dating coach has always preferred going out solo for learning, and his reasons fit a market perfectly. There is no wingman watching you, so there is no fear of how your approach looks to him. You can start a conversation with any woman at any moment instead of waiting for one with a friend your friend likes. And you set your own pace, which at a market means as slow as you want.

The busy hour is the right hour. On a weekend morning, the big city markets are packed from mid-morning until the stalls start packing up. A crowd makes approaching easier, not harder, because nobody notices one more conversation at the peaches.

Look for women who are browsing rather than errand running. A woman strolling, picking things up, tasting samples and chatting with vendors has time. A woman with three full bags speed-walking to the exit does not. Women alone or with one friend are easier than big groups, and a woman lingering at a stall you were heading to anyway is the easiest of all.

The produce is your opener. "Which of these would you pick?" while holding up two melons is a perfectly normal question at a market. So is "Have you tried this honey, or am I about to waste ten dollars?" or "What do you actually do with garlic scapes?"

A plain question like that gets you a polite answer. It does not get you much more. On one of his coaching calls, coach broke down a student's habit of opening with small questions like what time the market closes. His point was that a question that ordinary earns a courteous reply, which beats silence, but it only buys you a few seconds. You still have to follow it with something more personal or more fun. A stack of ordinary questions, one after another, just gets boring.

So use the stall to start, then move on. "Thanks, you just saved me from buying the wrong one. You look like you actually cook, by the way. What are you making?" Now you are talking about her, not the vegetables.

A farmers market is built for walking and talking. If she is warm, keep browsing side by side. Taste things together, argue about which bread stand is better, let her show you her favorite vendor.

This is where being alone pays off again. You are not leaving a friend waiting at the coffee truck. You can spend twenty minutes walking a single aisle with her if the conversation is good, and walking together builds comfort faster than standing in one spot.

Most markets have coffee, a food truck or a bench nearby, which gives you an instant date sitting a few steps away. "I'm getting a coffee before I head out. Come have one with me." If she has time, that turns a five-minute chat into half an hour sitting down.

If she has somewhere to be, get her number instead. My view is that a number is the backup option, for when logistics rule out spending more time together right now. Say "This was fun, we should do it again," and when she agrees, ask what her number is.

Farmers markets run on regulars. The same vendors, the same shoppers, often at the same time each week. Going back gives you a second chance with anyone you missed and makes you a familiar face. A familiar face at a stall gets a warmer hello than a stranger does, and the vendors start saying hello to you too, which helps more than you might expect.

Walking up to a stranger in daylight, with a crowd around, is the part that stops most men. Practice with feedback gets you past it faster than practice alone.

The Cold Approach Bootcamp gives you that feedback in person, in Miami or New York. Daytime sessions cover streets and cafes, and night sessions cover bars and lounges. Your coach guides you live through each approach and talks it over with you after every set. Group students train three consecutive days, three to a coach. Private students get a coach to themselves for one, two or three days. Every level is welcome, approach anxiety is the specialty, and you head home with a short written practice plan.