How to Get a Woman's Number at the Farmers Market

To get a girl's number at the farmers market, start talking while she is stopped at a stall and keep it easy for a few minutes. Then ask in a way that assumes you will see each other again. Saying "What's your number?" lands better than "Can I have your number?" A market is slow, sunny and full of things to comment on, so the talking part is easy. The number comes from making that talk personal before her tote bag is full.

A farmers market is one of the most relaxed places to meet someone during the day. People stroll, taste samples, ask vendors questions and stand around deciding between two kinds of tomatoes. Nobody is rushing to catch a train.

a dating coach prefers outdoor spots for daygame for this reason. With the sun out and space around everyone, people are more social and open, and a stranger saying hello feels less like an intrusion. A market adds one more advantage: everyone is already chatting with strangers at the stalls, so you do not stand out.

The easy opener at a market is a question about what is in front of you both. Which peaches are ripe, whether that bread is worth the line, what she is going to make with all that basil.

coach makes a useful point about plain questions like "What time does the market close?" Most people answer out of ordinary courtesy, so you get a response. But a plain question only buys you a few seconds. If you follow it with another plain question, and another, the conversation dies of boredom.

So follow the first answer with something with more personality. A guess about her: "You look like someone who comes here every week and judges the people who only come for the coffee." A small tease about her bag. An opinion of your own. Anything that makes it a conversation between two people instead of a customer survey.

A number from a stranger who talked to you about kale is a weak number. coach puts it simply: "A phone number by itself is useless." What makes a number worth having is a few minutes that left her enjoying your company.

Before you ask, three things should have happened. You know each other's names. You have laughed about something. And you have been open that you came over because you liked her, not because you needed a peach recommendation. "I'll be honest, I came over because you're cute, and the peaches were an excuse" lands well at a market, because the mood is light.

My preferred wording is short and to the point: "What's your number?" It assumes you are both planning to see each other again, and it saves her from having to answer a yes-or-no question. "Can I have your number?" sounds like you are asking for a favor you have not earned.

The moment to ask is usually when she signals she is moving on: she pays at the stall, picks up her bags or looks toward the exit. "I'll let you finish your shopping. Let's get a coffee this week. What's your number?"

Send her a text on the spot so your number is saved on her side too. Then stay another twenty seconds or so and end the conversation properly instead of walking off the moment the number is saved.

Sometimes you do not need a number at all yet. Markets usually have a coffee cart or a cafe nearby, and many people wander for an hour. If she is in no hurry, suggest you finish the loop together, or grab a coffee and sit on a bench for a few minutes.

That is an instant date. It is better than a number, because the next time you text her, she is texting someone she has already spent time with. Take her number at the end of it.

Hands full. If she is carrying bags, do not hand her your phone and make her juggle. Ask for her number and type it in yourself, or ask her name and send her a quick text while she watches.

With a friend. Talk to both of them, and make the friend feel included rather than in the way. A friend who likes you will happily wander to the next stall for a minute. A friend who feels ignored will pull her away.

It is one thing to read about making it personal and asking with confidence. It is another to do it with a woman in front of you. The Cold Approach Bootcamp happens in person, out in the field. You do live approaches in daygame settings like streets and cafes and in night game settings like bars and lounges. Every approach gets live coaching, and every set gets feedback.

It takes place in Miami and New York. You can choose Group, three consecutive days at three students per coach, or Private, fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days, with longer programs quoted on request. Every day has two four-hour blocks in the field. Any level can join, and you finish with a short written practice plan.