How to Delete or Disable Your OkCupid Account

In the app, go to Settings and tap Disable your account, then choose Delete or Disable. On the website, use the Need a Break? link at the bottom of the settings page. Deleting is permanent. Disabling hides you and lets you come back later. Uninstalling the app does neither, so your account stays exactly where you left it until you use one of these options.

1. Tap your profile icon.
2. Tap Settings.
3. Tap Disable your account.
4. Choose Delete to close the account for good, or Disable to hide it for now.

That is all it takes. Read the choice twice before you confirm, because the two options are very different.

On a computer, go to your settings page and scroll to the bottom. Click Need a Break? and follow the steps from there to delete or disable.

Disable if you might come back. It hides your profile, so women stop seeing you, but your account is still there when you return. This suits a man who is going on a long trip, has a busy few months at work, has started seeing someone and wants to see where it goes, or just needs some time off the apps.

Delete if you are sure you are done. Deleting is permanent. The account is gone for good, and there is no undoing it. If you come back to OkCupid one day, you start again from nothing.

If you are unsure, disable. You can always delete later. You cannot un-delete.

This catches a lot of men out. Deleting the OkCupid app from your phone does not delete or disable your account. It only removes the app.

Your profile stays up. Women can still come across you, Like you and write to you, and you will not see any of it unless you open OkCupid again. If you are leaving, use Delete or Disable in Settings, and only then remove the app.

Take care of two things first.

The women you are talking to. When an account is deleted, its conversations disappear for the women on the other side too. If there is anyone you would like to keep in touch with, get her number or suggest a plan before you leave. A short "I'm taking a break from the apps, but I'd like to take you for that drink. What's your number?" is enough.

Your billing. Closing the account and ending a paid plan are separate jobs. If you pay for OkCupid, deal with the subscription on its own, through the place you paid, so you are not charged for an account you no longer use.

A lot of the time, the urge to delete comes after a frustrating few weeks. Sometimes deleting is the right call. Often it is a reaction to a bad streak.

a dating coach's advice when you find yourself in a downward spiral is to take a break and reset, rather than push on in a bad mood. He gives it about going out and talking to women, but it fits the apps just as well. That is exactly what Disable is for. Step away for a couple of weeks, clear your head, and return with a better plan.

My view of online dating is that it is one of the most time efficient ways to meet women once it is set up properly. Matches arrive while you are busy with your life. But he is just as clear that there is a threshold to get over first, and that most men on the apps never get over it. Deleting in the middle of a bad stretch often means walking away just before the setup starts paying off.

Use the break to look honestly at what was going wrong, because it is rarely the app itself. Are your photos clear and recent? Does your written section say anything specific about your life? Are your first messages about her, or are they "hey" and a compliment? Fix those, and the same app often starts working.

If you disabled your account rather than deleting it, OkCupid lets you come back later, so the door is still open.

Treat it as a fresh start. Update your photos if they are old, rewrite anything that sounds tired, and answer a few more match questions. Then be choosy with your Likes, write short messages that react to something real on her page, and move good conversations toward a drink within a handful of messages. A break is only worth taking if you come back doing it better.