How OkCupid Works for Men

OkCupid matches people on their preferences and on their answers to many match questions. It shows a Match percentage for each woman as a measure of compatibility. In Discover you see one potential match at a time and drag the card right to like her or left to pass. A mutual like is announced to both of you for free, and then you can chat. The free account likes and chats, and paid tiers add extras on top of that.

The questions are what make OkCupid different from a pure photo app. You answer as many as you like, about what you want and how you see things. The percentage you see on a woman is built from those answers and from what each of you wants.

OkCupid's algorithm works in layers. First it applies basic criteria such as age, location, gender and orientation. Then it narrows to people who are looking for someone like you. Finally it compares your answers with hers. A high percentage means your answers and your wants line up with hers.

Treat the number as one input, not a verdict. It measures agreement on the questions you both answered, and it cannot measure chemistry.

Discover puts one card in front of you. You drag it right to like her or left to pass, in the app. If she has already liked you, your like makes a mutual like, and OkCupid announces it to both of you.

That one-at-a-time format rewards attention. You can read what she wrote and look at her percentage before you decide. A man who flicks through fast gives up the main advantage the app has over a plain swipe app.

A regular like leads to a chat once the like is mutual. An intro is different. It is a first message that lands in the other person's Intros tab, so you can write to a woman without waiting for her to like you.

That is useful, and it is also your only first line. Mention one specific thing from her page and ask a question she can answer in a sentence. A line like "hey" in her Intros tab sits among the others and gets skipped.

A free account sets preferences, answers match questions, likes and chats. The paid tiers add things like seeing the full list of who likes you, and OkCupid also sells optional extras such as a Boost, which shows your profile to more people. Features and limits change, so read the screen on the day you decide.

a dating coach's rule for any paid feature applies here. It multiplies what you already have. If the free version gives you likes back and a few conversations, a paid feature can give you more of both. If it gives you none, it multiplies nothing. He also says men are too reluctant to pay for dating. So try one feature, count what changes, and drop it if the numbers do not move.

coach points out that on a longer-form app like OkCupid, your profile matters more than it does on Tinder, where it should be shorter. So write the profile properly. A clear photo of your face leads, with photos of what you actually do behind it. Then write a few specific lines about your life, not a list of adjectives.

Answer the questions honestly. If you answer the way you think women want, the percentage starts pairing you with women who would suit a man you are not. A few true answers, even strong ones, push the wrong women down and pull the right ones up.

Be selective with your likes. My warning on every app is that liking nearly everyone tends to make an app treat you as less attractive, and liking fewer women, picked with care, improves results.

The weak point of any app is how many women near you are active. My rule is that your results depend on whether the people on it are really looking to date, and an app can be busy in one city and quiet in the next.

So spend a few days in Discover before you judge it. Look at whether the women show clear photos and filled-in pages, and whether the percentages you see are workable.

Use OkCupid daily for two weeks. Note how many women you liked, how many mutual likes you got, how many chats started and how many dates you set. If the likes come but the chats die, work on your first line. If the chats are good and the dates are missing, suggest a specific drink sooner. If almost nothing comes back, fix your photos and your answers before you try another app.