How Does Dating in NYC Compare With Washington DC?

Both cities lean woman, so neither is a bad place for a single man. The difference is scale and hours. New York has more than twelve times DC's population, far more people out on foot, and bars that serve until 4 a.m., while DC stops at 2 a.m. on weeknights and 3 a.m. on weekends. For meeting women in person, especially at night, New York gives you more to work with.

DC still has real strengths, mostly because it is smaller and full of ambitious people. Here is how the two compare.

Census figures cited on Wikipedia put New York at about 86 men for every 100 women aged 18 and over. In DC, Census Bureau estimates put women at a little over half of all residents. Both cities give a man a small edge on paper.

Size is where they split. DC has around 700,000 residents. New York counted about 8.8 million at its last census. DC is also unusually well educated: Wikipedia notes that nearly 46 percent of its residents aged 25 and older hold at least a four-year degree.

A ratio never introduces you to anyone. What it changes is how many good chances you get in an afternoon or a night, and New York's sheer size multiplies that.

DC is the seat of the federal government, and a large share of the people you meet work in or around it: agencies, Congress, law, policy and the consultants who serve them. The city has a reputation for asking what you do within the first minute.

That shapes dating in two ways. The women you meet tend to be ambitious and busy, much like the career-focused New Yorkers a dating coach describes as having little time to go out. And conversations can slide into comparing resumes. A man who keeps the talk on her, her weekend or the place you are both standing in, stands apart from the men interviewing her about her job.

DC is also a city of arrivals and departures. Jobs follow elections, internships and postings, so people come and go every year. That keeps the dating pool changing, and as in New York, it means many people are new in town and open to meeting someone.

New York's daytime advantage is volume. Millions of people walk to work, sit in parks and wait in coffee lines. My favorite daytime spots are Manhattan's small parks, because a woman sitting alone in one came out to be among people and is in no rush.

DC has good daytime settings in pockets: the National Mall on a weekend, the shopping streets of Georgetown, the cafes around Dupont Circle and 14th Street. They work well. There are simply fewer of them, and the foot traffic between them thins out fast once you leave the center.

DC bars may serve until 2 a.m. on weeknights and 3 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights. New York gives you until 4 a.m. My advice for New York is to stay out late. By the final hour, plenty of groups have broken up, and the women still at the bar are making their own plans. In DC that last stretch is shorter or gone.

DC's nightlife clusters in a few areas such as U Street, Adams Morgan and 14th Street. On a Saturday those strips are packed, and the rest of the city is quiet. New York has busy bars in dozens of neighborhoods, so you can find a full room on a Tuesday without planning.

Then there is the ride home. DC's Metro does not run all night, and many people drive in from Virginia and Maryland. A woman who came in a friend's car usually leaves in it. New York's 24-hour subway means women often arrive and leave on their own, which coach counts as one of the city's biggest advantages.

In a city of 700,000, you run into people again. That has an upside. A woman you chatted with at a cafe may turn up at a friend's party, and the second meeting is easier than the first. It also means a clumsy approach can follow you around, so end every conversation on friendly terms, even the short ones.

New York works the other way. As coach puts it, if an approach goes badly there, you will probably never see her again. That makes New York a forgiving place to learn, because each attempt costs you almost nothing.

DC is a few hours from New York by train, which makes New York the natural place for a man in DC to train in person. Cold Approach runs its Bootcamp in New York and Miami only. Every training day is two four-hour blocks in the field, approaching real women with daygame and night game mixed to suit you. A coach works each approach with you live and gives feedback after every set. Group runs three consecutive days at a 3:1 student-to-coach ratio, and Private is one, two or three days, fully 1-on-1. There is no skill floor, and you go home with a written practice plan you can use on U Street the following weekend.