Does Career Success Make It Harder to Meet Women?

No, but the two do not come together automatically. A good career gives you money, status and a few useful habits. It does not teach you how to walk up to a woman, hold her interest or ask her out, and it can even get in the way. The men who do well at both treat dating as a skill with its own practice, and they schedule it the way they schedule work.

Look around and you will see successful men who are single and charming men who barely work. Two things create that impression.

First, time. A demanding job eats the evenings and weekends where you would meet people. If you give everything to the office, nothing is left for the practice that improves your dating life.

Second, comfort. Success often makes a man careful. He has a reputation, a salary and a lot to protect. Approaching a stranger risks a small embarrassment, and a man used to winning does not enjoy that.

a dating coach makes the point in a talk about why some men who seem like losers do well with women. They have less to lose, so they take more risks. They make moves, ask for numbers and say provocative things because rejection is not a big deal to them.

Many accomplished men are the opposite. They avoid anything that might not work. So their dating life stalls because they never take the small risks that get results, not because their status is too low.

Success is not useless. Money lets you pick better venues, buy better clothes and travel. Status can make a first impression easier. A sense of purpose is attractive, and so is a man who has built something.

coach also separates absolute value from relative value. A man with a lot of absolute value, like a good job and nice friends, will be liked. But if a woman feels put on a pedestal by him or does not feel any tension, she may stay a friend. Status gets you attention. It does not do the work of attraction by itself.

You learned your job through training, feedback and years of repetition. Dating needs the same. Blocking two evenings a week for approaching, keeping a short log and reviewing it monthly will beat a lifetime of waiting for it to click.

A successful man has an advantage here. He already knows how to practice, track and improve. He only has to point those habits at a new area.

Each side helps the other when you set it up well.

• Approaching trains you to handle rejection, which helps in negotiation and sales.
• Charisma and relaxed speech help in meetings and interviews.
• A busy, purposeful life makes you more interesting to meet.
• A confident social life makes work friendships easier.

coach also notes that game helped him most in how he moved through the world, more than in any single technique.

Do not copy the risk-taking of men who throw away their job and money. coach explicitly warns against that. The aim is to keep your winning life and add the boldness, not to swap one for the other.

• Pick two fixed slots a week for meeting women and treat them like meetings you cannot move.
• Start with low-stakes approaches in places you already go, like a cafe near work.
• Go out with a friend who will push you to talk.
• Accept that you will be a beginner again, and let yourself be bad at it for a while.

If you work long hours, you do not need a dramatic change. A workable week might hold one weekday evening of approaching near your office, one weekend afternoon in a busy part of town, and one date or follow-up slot. That is about six hours.

Six hours a week, held for three months, is more practice than most men give it in a decade. The trick is that the slots are fixed and you do not trade them away when work gets busy.

A busy man does not need more theory. He needs a lot of practice in a short time. A Cold Approach Bootcamp compresses it into days of work in the field with a coach in Miami or New York, so you can go back to your career with the skill in place.