Dating Photoshoot for Men: What to Expect and How to Prepare

A good dating photoshoot is one afternoon, in daylight, in a few real places, with you in clothes you actually wear. Go in with instructions instead of hoping, expect to feel stiff for the first stretch, and plan to come away with many frames so you can keep only the best few.

Ask what the quote includes before you pay. A photographer can charge one price for the session, another for retouching, often by the image, and another for the rights to the finished photos. A cheap session can turn into an expensive afternoon once the other two are added, so get all three figures in writing.

Then tell the photographer you want candid photos, not studio portraits. Ask for:

• daylight, outdoors, in spots you really spend time in
• two or three spots, and a different outfit in each
• several frames where you are in the middle of doing something
• one tight, sharp shot of your face to use as your lead
• one that shows you from head to toe

Paid shoots tend to come out alike: warm evening light, one jacket, a fixed expression and a man standing still in front of a soft-focus street. Photos that look like an ordinary day do better on a dating app than posed ones, so say that is what you are after.

a dating coach's advice is to sort out your clothes and your haircut before anything else. Then stand at a mirror for half an hour and try different poses until you find the ones that suit you. Your best look may not involve a smile, and he says that is fine.

Think about what she does with your clothes. She uses them to guess at your ordinary week, so each outfit should belong with the others in the set. A lone suit among casual shots looks borrowed for the day. Bring two formal looks or none.

Fit matters more than the price tag. A camera picks up a jacket whose shoulders hang off you, cuffs that cover your knuckles and trouser legs bunched over your shoes. If you have money to spend before the shoot, a tailor is the place for it.

Color changes how you read on camera. Head-to-toe black in low light turns you into a dark shape. A bright white shirt under noon sun glares so much that your features wash out. Big logos and loud prints drag attention off your face. In the lead photo, wear one plain, medium-toned color that suits you.

Pack three or four outfits you already wear, one for each spot, so the set reads as several different days.

A shoot happens on one afternoon, in one spot, in whatever weather and mood that day brings. Sleep well, eat beforehand, and choose a date when you expect to feel like yourself and the light should be good.

Most men do not enjoy having a camera pointed at them, and the discomfort shows as tension around the eyes. A photographer spends a large part of the session working it loose, so your first frames will probably be your stiffest.

A few things help once the camera is up:

• Light. Stand facing daylight, beside a window or in open shade. Keep out of harsh direct sun, and away from overhead indoor lights, which put bags under your eyes and a shadow under your nose.
• Angle. Do not square up to the lens like a passport photo. Angle your body 20 to 30 degrees off and turn your face back to the camera, with your feet slightly offset, your shoulders relaxed, your chin neither raised nor tucked, and your eyes on the lens.
• Expression. Go for calm: relaxed eyes and a small smile, never a forced grin. Let a breath out right before the shutter and your face, shoulders and jaw loosen.
• Camera height. Ask for the camera slightly above your eye line and tipped a little downward, which tends to define the jaw and open the eyes. From too low your face distorts, and from too high you look small.

a dating coach's instruction is to let the photographer shoot hundreds of frames and keep only the two or three best. Among them you want one or two with good light on your face, clean framing, a soft background and the most compelling expression you can manage.

Do not judge as you go. Stop checking the back of the camera and keep moving.

Sit down with the folder within a day or two, while you still remember how each moment felt.

Hold each keeper up against the mirror. If your hair, beard, weight or apparent age in the photo no longer match what you see, leave the photo out, because she will be meeting the man in the mirror.

A folder of photos is not yet a finished dating page. You still choose the lead photo for each app and the order behind it. Give the set a month, then remove whichever photo is doing the least. Last, rewrite the bio and prompts so the words fit the new pictures.

Some men decide an afternoon with a stranger is not for them, and get a set made from their selfies without one. Photos that truly look like you are fine to use, however they were made.