Can You Meet Women at a Hotel Alone?

Yes. A man sitting alone at a hotel bar, in a lobby lounge or by the pool is one of the most normal sights in the building. Hotels are full of other people traveling alone, including women on work trips and women on vacation with friends. Sit where conversation happens, at the bar rather than a corner table, and talk to the people around you. To meet women in person at a hotel you need the same short, friendly approach you would use anywhere, plus a little extra care, because a hotel is also where people sleep.

Most bars feel strange to walk into alone. A hotel bar does not. Half the people in it are travelers with nobody to go out with, so a man with a drink and no company is expected, not noticed.

a dating coach has a theory about why men do so well in Las Vegas. Almost everyone is staying on the same street, and nobody finds it odd that you are in a hotel, because you are on vacation. Any hotel has a smaller version of that. The people around you are away from home, a little more open than usual, and often have a free evening.

It is also easy to explain why you are there. "I'm in town for work" or "I'm staying here for the weekend" answers the question before she asks it.

Not every part of a hotel works the same way.

• The bar. Sit at the bar itself, not at a table. The bar seat puts you next to people, and the bartender often gets conversations going.
• The lobby lounge. Quieter, and good for meeting a woman who is waiting for friends or killing an hour before dinner.
• The rooftop or terrace. Busier and more social in the evening, especially in big cities, where hotel rooftops draw locals too.
• The pool. Daytime and relaxed. A good place for a short, light hello, much like a beach.
• Breakfast. Fine for a smile and a word, but most people are half awake and in a hurry. Keep it brief.

Going out alone teaches you something a wingman cannot. a dating coach learned to approach by going out solo, and his point is that a man alone has to learn to talk to groups, because waiting for a woman to be alone turns you into the guy standing around.

At a hotel bar, women are often in twos and threes. Talk to the whole group for the first minute. Ask where they are from or what brought them to town. Once the group is comfortable with you, it is natural to end up talking mostly with one of them.

If a woman really is alone, approach her, but assume she might be waiting for someone. Ask. It saves you both an awkward moment when her colleague arrives.

Many women at a hotel bar on a Tuesday are there for work. They are tired, a little bored, and often glad of good company, but their time is short. She may fly home on Thursday morning.

That makes the timing simple. If you hit it off, suggest dinner or a drink nearby while you are both in town, or take her number before she heads up. Do not save it for tomorrow.

A hotel is a public place and a private one at the same time. The private parts are off limits.

• Do not start conversations in elevators or hallways. She has nowhere to go.
• Never ask a woman for her room number, and do not offer yours unprompted.
• Do not hover near her table or follow her toward the elevators.
• Leave staff alone while they are working. A server or receptionist cannot walk away from you.

If she gives you short answers or turns back to her friends, say "Enjoy your trip" and go back to your seat. You may see her at breakfast, so a gracious exit helps.

Staying at the hotel helps you. You do not need to work out where to go next, and an invitation to the bar downstairs or the rooftop is easy to accept. Keep the next step public and relaxed, and let her decide how the evening goes from there.

Walking up to a group when you came alone is a skill, and it is easier to learn with someone telling you what to change. A Cold Approach Bootcamp is in person in Miami and New York, with night game in bars and lounges and daygame on streets and in cafes. Each training day is two four-hour blocks in the field, with live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set.

Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach. Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days, and longer programs are available on request. There is no skill floor, and every student leaves with a short written practice plan.