What Are the Best Tinder Openers for Guys?

The best Tinder openers turn matches into conversations. They are one or two sentences that pick up an unusual detail from her photos or her words and give her something easy to answer. They tease a little, they are about her rather than you, and they fit on one screen. A message you could paste to any woman on the app gets read as exactly that.

"Hey" and "how's your day going?" put every bit of the effort on her. She has to work out who you are, why you wrote and what to say back, and she has a screen full of other conversations.

A good opener flips that. It does the thinking and leaves her one easy move: agree, disagree, correct you or play along. a dating coach's rule of thumb is that shorter wins: fewer words, same point.

a dating coach's method starts before he types anything. He reads her whole page for something odd to comment on, ideally something he can tease. If there is nothing, he reaches for a stock line he has used before on a similar kind of woman.

He also prefers to comment on something she wrote over something in a photo, because it feels more genuine and less superficial. A line about her bio says you read it. A comment on her face or her outfit says you looked at the pictures, like everyone else.

These are shapes. Use the real detail, not these words.

If her bio says she is learning to cook: "Which dish is winning against you right now? I want the full account, with the smoke alarm."

If her bio asks for someone who can keep up: "Define keep up. If it is a hike, I will bring snacks. If it is a debate, I will bring snacks and a lawyer."

If a photo shows her on a climbing wall: "That wall looks smug. Did you beat it, or are you still negotiating?"

If she lists a strong opinion, like pineapple on pizza: "Bold position. I will allow it, but only if you can name one other food crime you defend."

If her bio is almost empty, use the setting of a photo or the city she lists: "You are standing in front of the bridge everyone argues about. Are you pro or against?"

Each one shows you read the page, takes a light side and ends on something she can answer in a word.

Tease a choice she made, never her looks. Her pizza topping or her trail is fair game and invites a comeback. A joke about her face or her body risks the whole chat and gains nothing.

Sometimes you get a match because she liked something of yours. That tells you what she responded to, so use it. a dating coach notes that when women like the same prompt of his, they tend to send much the same message, so he keeps a good reply ready for each and reuses it.

You can do the same. Once a certain reply has worked a few times, keep it and adjust the detail each time. The skill is in changing the detail so it never reads as pasted.

• Comments on her looks, which she has had from every man who wrote before you.
• "How was your weekend?" It invites one word and a dead end.
• A rundown of your job, car and gym schedule, which is about you before she has a reason to care.
• A joke you found online. She has probably seen it.
• Anything long. Three lines from a stranger feel like homework.

Read it once before you send. If you could swap her name for any other and nothing changes, it is not finished.

An opener has one task: to get a reply. The next few exchanges decide whether there is a date.

Reply quickly, share something of your own so you are not quizzing her, and keep it light. When she is engaged, with real sentences and questions back, move toward a plan. Examples of getting a number from Tinder in two or three messages share one thing: the man gets to the point instead of dancing around it.

Name a drink and a night, and ask for her number so the details are quick to settle. A good opener gets the first reply. A specific plan, made while the chat is still lively, is what gets you across the table from her.