Are OkCupid Bans Permanent?

Treat one as permanent unless an appeal says otherwise. OkCupid does not publish a ban length. Its sign-in help says a terms of service violation or suspended account error means the account has been banned and deleted. Its guidelines say hateful content may result in a permanent ban. The only way back is an appeal, and OkCupid reviews those through one form only.

OkCupid says that if it finds a member in violation of its Community Guidelines or Terms of Service, it will ban the account. It does not describe a timer, a first-strike warning or a ban that runs for thirty days and then ends.

On its sign-in help page, an error that mentions a terms of service violation or a suspended account means the account has been banned and deleted. Read that plainly. If you see that error, you are not locked out for a week. The account is gone.

For the worst cases, the guidelines are direct: hateful content may result in a permanent ban. The word "may" is theirs, and it tells you that OkCupid keeps the decision in its own hands.

If you do not believe you broke the rules, you can appeal a ban or a content removal through OkCupid's official appeals form. A few things about how it works:

• The appeal must be submitted within six months of the action, so do not sit on it.
• OkCupid reviews only appeals sent through that form, with all the required information filled in.
• Multiple appeal submissions are not considered, and they may change your position in the queue.
• OkCupid says it reviews suspension appeals only when its other moderation work, such as reviewing reported accounts, is up to date. So an answer can take a while.

The takeaway is to send one appeal, send it carefully and then wait.

OkCupid's policy is not to tell people why they were banned. The reason is the person who reported the account: telling you the exact cause could point you at her, so the company protects her anonymity.

It also says it replies only if the ban has been reversed and the profile reinstated. Silence after your appeal does not mean it is still being read. It may mean the answer was no.

That is hard to live with. It is also why one calm appeal beats five angry ones, since extra submissions can cost you your place.

You cannot argue with a charge you were never given. What you can show is that you understand how to use the app.

Keep it short and factual. Give the details that identify your account. If you can think of what might have triggered the ban, say it in one honest sentence and say it will not happen again. Skip the demand to know who reported you, and skip any language that sounds like the messages that got the account reported in the first place.

This article will not help anyone dodge a ban, and you should not try. OkCupid's guidelines say it does not tolerate any kind of fake account, and a second profile made to get back in is exactly what it is looking for.

If the appeal fails, treat the account as closed.

OkCupid bans after reports and reviews. The behaviors that get a man reported on dating apps are not mysterious:

• Crude or sexual openers to women who did not ask for them.
• Pushing for a number, photos or a meeting after she has said no.
• Insults or anger when she stops replying.
• The same message pasted to woman after woman.
• Photos or text that break the app's content rules.

A woman who feels uncomfortable reports, and enough reports bring in a human reviewer. The men who keep their accounts are the ones women enjoy messaging. They open with something specific from her page, ask one easy question, and let a silence be a silence.

Either way, run a two-week check on how you write. For each woman you liked, count how many messaged back and how many conversations turned into a plan. If the likes come and the messages die, the problem is your first line, and it is a better thing to fix than a ban.

That habit carries to any app. A man who checks his own numbers every couple of weeks notices a problem long before a report does. He spends his evenings on the part that moves his results instead of on the part that gets him in trouble.