Will a Dating Bootcamp Get You a Girlfriend?

Not by itself, and no honest program can promise that. A Cold Approach Bootcamp teaches you to approach women, hold a conversation, get a number and turn it into a date. Those are the steps that lead to a girlfriend. The relationship itself depends on who you meet, whether you click and how you handle the weeks afterward, and it does not come with the training.

What a Bootcamp can do is remove the biggest obstacle for most men, which is not meeting enough women in a way that gives you a real chance.

A girlfriend involves another person's choice. You can become much better at approaching and still spend months finding the right woman. Any program that says otherwise is selling a result it does not control.

What can be taught is a set of skills you control: how to start a conversation, how to show interest, how to ask for contact and how to take a no without being knocked off course. Those make everything else more likely, though they do not decide it.

Think of the path to a girlfriend as a series of steps. A Bootcamp works on the early ones.

1. Meeting women. You learn to approach in daylight and at night, in person, with a coach beside you. This is the step most men never get through, because of the hesitation.
2. Making a connection. The coach works on genuine interest, flirting and confident communication, including voice, eye contact and posture.
3. Getting contact and moving to a date. You practice exchanging a number or Instagram, texting toward a date and recognizing when an immediate date makes sense.
4. Handling the no. You learn to take an interaction that goes badly without letting it spoil the day, which keeps you in the game long enough to find the right woman.

a dating coach puts the overall point simply: you win by deciding and committing to put yourself in awkward situations and figure it out.

It is worth being direct about the limits.

• It does not run a relationship for you. Once a woman becomes someone you are dating, the work is the ordinary work of getting to know her.
• It does not include a follow-up call. The package has a written practice plan and community Slack access, and no follow-up call.
• It does not promise a number of dates. The result depends on how much you go out afterward.

Many men go to a Bootcamp wanting a relationship and do not say so. Say it. The coach can then help you think about whom you approach and how you describe what you want, since the conversation you have in the street is the first signal of what you are after.

A man who wants a girlfriend and a man who wants a variety of dates approach a little differently. Neither is wrong. The coach can only help with the one you name.

A Bootcamp is three days for Group, or one to three days for Private, and then you go home. A relationship takes longer than that, so the training is the start.

The sequence that works for most men is this:

1. Do the Bootcamp and get the reps and corrections.
2. Keep approaching in the weeks after, using your written plan.
3. Turn the numbers you collect into dates.
4. See several women, then decide which one you want more time with.

A relationship starts with chemistry, and chemistry is easier to read in person.

You can also read turning a phone number into a real date for the step between a number and a first date.

If your main problem is that you rarely meet women you like, or you meet them and cannot make anything happen, the Bootcamp targets that problem. If your main problem is something else, such as a relationship you keep losing, it will not. For the second, our article on dating coach or therapist may be a better start.

The cities are Miami and New York.