Will a Dating Bootcamp Coach Make Me Approach Women I Do Not Want to Talk To?

No. The point of a dating bootcamp is to help you approach the women you want to meet, not to run a quota of strangers you have no interest in. A good coach pushes you through your hesitation with women you find attractive. What you find attractive stays yours.

The worry is reasonable, and a lot of men who search for a dating coach bootcamp, a cold approach bootcamp or a program in a particular city have it. Here is how the work actually goes.

When a man says he does not want to approach a woman, two different things can be going on.

One is real preference. She is not your type, you are not attracted to her, or the setting is wrong. That is a good reason not to talk to her.

The other is fear dressed up as preference. You find her attractive, but your head says she looks busy, she is out of your league or it is a bad time. That is approach anxiety, and it is what a coach works on.

A useful test is to ask yourself whether you would still skip her if you felt completely confident. If yes, skip her. If the only reason is discomfort, that is what the training is for.

You do. A coach can point out a woman who looks open, or say a moment is good, but you are the one who decides whom you want to talk to. A coach has no reason to send you at women you do not find attractive, because that would not help you with the real goal, which is meeting women you want to date.

What a coach will do is say so when your reason sounds like fear. "I am going to wait until she is less busy" is a common one. A good coach asks whether she is actually busy, or whether you would like her to be.

The program has four parts, taught in the field: approaching and conversation, attraction and delivery, numbers and dates, and rejection and follow-through. Each day is two four-hour blocks, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you, and live coaching on every approach.

Early on, the demand is small. a dating coach describes a goal that anyone can hit: walk up to a girl and say something. Your coach raises the bar only after you can clear the one you have. A man who is very nervous may start with a hello and a plain question, and build from there.

Anyone who has been pushed at the gym or in sales has a sense of what "being pushed" means: someone with a quota, telling you to do it. That is not the idea. The coach beside you is there to give feedback, steady you and tell you what to adjust after each set.

Group runs three consecutive days at no more than three students per coach, so there is real attention on you. Private is fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days, with longer programs quoted on request. If you would be more comfortable without other men watching, Private is built for that.

Tell your coach. That is useful information, and it often means the venue is wrong. Coaches adjust the setting, whether that is a different street, a different time of day or a switch between daygame and night game. a dating coach notes that the right venue changes the whole session, and a good coach moves you to one.

It is also worth noticing if you are telling yourself "nobody here is attractive" on day one when you feel most nervous. That can be fear again. A coach will help you tell the difference.

Not every approach goes well. A woman may say she is busy, or that she has a boyfriend, or just walk on. The fourth part of the program, rejection and follow-through, is about handling that without letting it decide the rest of your day. Your coach reviews what happened with you, and you leave with a short written practice plan.