What Is the Difference Between a Dating Bootcamp and a Dating Retreat?

A bootcamp puts you in the field. You approach real women, with a coach beside you, for hours at a time. A retreat usually centers on a place and a program of talks, group sessions and exercises, often away from where you live. The words are used loosely, so always read what the days actually contain. A Cold Approach Bootcamp is the field kind: eight hours of in-person coaching a day, in Miami or New York.

• At a Cold Approach Bootcamp, every training day is two four-hour blocks of live approaching, not a lecture.
• It runs in two cities only, Miami and New York.
• Group is three consecutive days at a 3:1 student to coach ratio. Private is fully one-on-one for one, two or three days.
• Other companies use "retreat" and "bootcamp" for a range of formats, so the label tells you little.
• The deciding question for any program: how many hours will you spend talking to real women?

At Cold Approach, a bootcamp is defined by what you do. You are on the street, in a cafe or in a bar, and you walk up to women. Your coach stands near you, watches the set and corrects it afterward, while the moment is fresh.

Each day covers the same four parts as they come up: approaching and conversation, attraction and delivery, numbers and dates, and rejection and follow-through. Daygame and nightgame are mixed to suit you. You also build a written practice plan to take home.

a dating coach describes the approach to teaching with a plain line about why live correction matters: "Sometimes major mistakes you're making in the field can be corrected with literally one comment." A lecture cannot do that, because the lecturer does not see you.

A dating retreat is usually described as a stay: a few days or a week in a particular setting, often with lodging, shared meals and a schedule of sessions. The content may include talks, discussion, exercises, goal setting and some time out meeting people.

That can suit a man who wants a break from his routine, wants company, or wants to think about what he wants from dating. The question to ask is how much of the schedule is spent actually approaching. If the answer is "a little, in the evening," you are buying mostly classroom time.

We do not run retreats, so we will not describe any other company's schedule. Read the schedule yourself and count the hours.

Where the time goes. A bootcamp puts most of the day in the field. A retreat often splits time between sessions and field time, in proportions that differ from company to company.

Who is watching. At a bootcamp, a coach sees each of your approaches. At a retreat, a coach may see only some of them, or only one group at a time.

What you leave with. From a Cold Approach Bootcamp you leave with a written practice plan, community Slack access and a list of habits to fix. The package has no follow-up call. Some retreats include other things. Check what is listed.

Setting. A retreat tends to be built around a place to stay. A bootcamp is built around the places women are: streets, cafes, bars, in Miami or New York.

A bootcamp fits you if:

• Your problem is approaching in person, and you want to practice it with feedback.
• You want live correction on each set instead of notes afterward.
• You would rather spend your hours talking to women than listening to talks.

A retreat may fit you if you mostly want time away, company and discussion, and you care less about a high number of approaches.

Most men who write to us about this have the first problem. They have read plenty, they know what they should do, and they are not doing it. a dating coach says it directly: "You don't win by being perfect. You win by deciding. Committing. Putting yourself in awkward situations and figuring it out." Putting yourself in those situations is the whole design of a bootcamp.

Both formats are in the field. Group has no more than three students per coach, so you learn from the coaching others get. Private is you and your coach alone, for one, two or three days, with longer programs available on request. Group or Private compares them in detail.

Ask the company these questions before you pay:

1. How many hours a day will I spend talking to women?
2. Will a coach watch each of my approaches and correct it right then?
3. How many students does each coach handle?
4. What do I leave with, and what is not included?
5. Where do you run it, and what do you charge?

A clear answer to all five is a good sign.

Is a bootcamp the same as pickup?

No.

Does a bootcamp include lodging?

Meeting, lodging and preparation details are provided after you book. Do not assume what is or is not covered, and ask.

Do I need experience?

No. A total beginner is welcome.