What Is Dating in Queens Like for Men?

Dating in Queens is neighborhood dating. The borough is the largest of New York's five by area and the second most populous, with about 2.4 million people, so the scene in Astoria has little in common with the scene in Flushing or Forest Hills. Astoria and Long Island City feel closest to Manhattan, with bars, waterfront parks and plenty of young renters. Elsewhere, a man does best by meeting women in person close to where he lives, because getting people to travel across Queens, or out from Manhattan, is the hard part.

Here is what the main parts of the borough are like, where single women in Queens actually spend their time, and how to handle the distances.

Queens covers more ground than any other borough, and it does not have one downtown. It has a dozen. Each has its own main street, its own trains and its own crowd.

It is also one of the most diverse places in the country. In one afternoon you can pass Greek bakeries in Astoria and South Asian sweet shops and Colombian cafes in Jackson Heights. For a man, that variety is a real advantage. A friendly question about a neighborhood place she likes is an easy way to start.

Women slightly outnumber men in the borough, too. Wikipedia puts women at 51.5% of the population.

Astoria is the part of Queens most men ask about first, and for good reason. It is a short ride from Midtown on the N and W trains, it has a large population of renters in their twenties and thirties, and it has a real going-out scene.

Ditmars Boulevard, 30th Avenue and Steinway Street are lined with cafes, restaurants and bars. Astoria has deep Greek roots, which show in its tavernas and bakeries, and it is home to one of the city's best-known beer gardens, a big outdoor space where groups share long tables. Astoria Park, on the East River, has a running path, a large public pool in summer and views of the bridges.

Dating in Astoria feels like a smaller, friendlier version of Manhattan. People go out in their own neighborhood, and the same faces show up at the same places.

Long Island City sits right across the East River from Midtown, and on the 7 train it is a single stop from Grand Central. Its waterfront is lined with new apartment towers, which means a lot of young professionals.

Gantry Plaza State Park, along the river, has one of the best views of the Manhattan skyline in the city. It is a good place to sit on a weekend and an even better place for a walk on a date.

Farther east, the scenes are more local. Flushing has one of the city's busiest downtowns, with large Chinese and Korean communities and a huge range of places to eat. Jackson Heights, along Roosevelt Avenue, is one of the most varied neighborhoods in the city. Forest Hills is quieter and more residential, with a shopping street on Austin Street.

In these neighborhoods, more people live with family or have been there for years. Social life runs through friends, family and local spots, so being a regular somewhere matters.

a dating coach's experience in New York is that it is easy to get a woman to come into Manhattan and very hard to get her to leave it. Queens is one of the places he names. If you live in Queens and meet a woman in Manhattan, expect to go to her for dates.

The simpler path is to meet women who live near you. A date that is ten minutes from both your apartments happens. A date that needs two trains gets moved until it disappears.

• Astoria Park and Gantry Plaza State Park on warm days, where people sit and have time.
• Cafes on 30th Avenue and Ditmars Boulevard in Astoria, and the coffee shops near the Long Island City waterfront.
• The bars and the beer garden in Astoria on weeknights and weekend evenings.
• Flushing Meadows Corona Park, the borough's biggest park, on weekends.
• Rockaway Beach in summer, which is part of Queens and reachable by subway and ferry.

The method is the same everywhere: pick a woman who has time, say hello, and tell her why you stopped.

Cold Approach runs its Bootcamp in person in Miami and New York only. In New York it is arranged with you after you book: Private runs one, two or three days with your coach alone, and Group, with no more than three students per coach, is available on request. Each training day is two four-hour blocks in the field, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you, live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. There is no skill floor, and you leave with a written practice plan you can take back to your own neighborhood.