What Is a Good Tinder Bio for Guys Who Think They Are Ugly?

Do not write about your looks at all. A good bio for a man who doubts his face is specific, easy to answer, and about his life. It has no apology in it, no joke at his own expense, and no warning that she may be disappointed. The less it mentions how you look, the less she thinks about it.

Men who worry about their looks often put the worry in the bio. "Do not judge me by my pictures." "Probably not your type." "I am funnier than I look."

Each of those tells her to look for the flaw. She might not have noticed one. Now she is checking, and the bio has become an argument you cannot win, since every word of it concedes the point.

a dating coach's warning about men who are too nice and too eager to be liked applies here. A bio that begs for a fair hearing sounds like the needy version of friendliness, and women do not reward it.

Write about what you do, what you like and what you are like to spend an evening with. Treat your face as something the pictures already handle and the words do not need to address.

Examples to borrow the shape of, written fresh:

• "I make an excellent breakfast and a poor first impression of my own sense of humor."
• "Learning to bake bread. The first three loaves are now doorstops."
• "Saturday plan: long walk, strong opinion about where to get lunch, and a quiz at nine."
• "I will drive twenty minutes for a good dumpling. Tell me yours."

None of these mentions looks. All of them show a man with a life, a voice and something she can ask about. That is the real job of the page.

A woman who is curious about you is not grading your face. She is trying to find out what happened with the bread. Curiosity is a better place to start than reassurance.

a dating coach says the page should do the heavy lifting, by getting her attention and by making the conversation easier to start. Reassurance does neither. A small, odd and specific detail does both.

The funny line that works is aimed at a habit, not at your face. Teasing yourself for burning toast reads as easy confidence. Teasing yourself for how you look reads as a man bracing for a no.

Men who use it about themselves are usually describing results, not faces. They posted a set, got little back, and decided the cause was bone structure.

a dating coach has said that photographs are mostly clothes, hair, light and angle, and all of those can be changed. On one profile he reviewed, he said the man could do a great deal by getting slightly better clothes and styling his hair a little. He also said a person is judged on the worst photograph in the set.

That tells you what to do next. The bio is not where this gets fixed.

Spend your effort in this order.

First, the lead shot. Clear face, daylight, a small natural expression, no sunglasses and no hat. Take many and pick the best one, since one shot is rarely the best you can get.

Second, grooming and clothes that fit. A haircut and a shirt that fits at the shoulder change every photograph you take afterward.

Third, the rest of the set. Show a place you go and people you spend time with, so she sees a man who is liked.

Only then the words. A good bio on a weak lead shot never gets read. A plain bio on a strong one still gets a reply.

Leave in one concrete detail, one plain line about what you do, and a small hook.

Leave out any comment on your height, weight, hair or face, any line starting with "I know I am not" or "I am not the best looking," and any joke that depends on her feeling sorry for you.

If a line makes you wince when you read it back, cut it. It will make her wince too.

Ask a friend who will tell you the truth whether the bio sounds like a man who is comfortable. If he says it sounds anxious, remove the sentence he points at.

Then count. Use the page steadily for two weeks and write down how many women respond. Change one thing, count again, and keep what moves the number. A man who tests calmly is acting like someone who expects to do well, and that attitude shows up in the writing.