What Are Good Second Date Ideas?

The best second date ideas share one trait: they give you and her something to do together and something to react to, so you are not interviewing each other across a table again. Think of a walk with a stop for dessert, a casual bar with music or games, a museum, a market, or a cooking class. Pick something a little more active or more personal than the first date, near where one of you lives, with an easy way to extend or end it.

The first date answers whether you enjoy each other's company. The second shows whether there is real chemistry. My way of putting it is that a date works best as a gradual climb in closeness, with each stage a little warmer than the last. A second date that simply repeats the first, two people trading stories over drinks, does not move anything.

So choose something that lets you see more of how she is and lets the two of you build shared moments.

A walk plus two stops. Walk through a neighbourhood and make two stops: a coffee first, then dessert or a drink. Movement takes the pressure off eye contact and gives you things to comment on. If the date goes well, the walk gives you a natural way to be close.

A casual bar with games or music. Pool, darts, board games or live music give you something to do with your hands and a reason to laugh together.

A museum or gallery. It works well on a weeknight or for a daytime date, and you learn what she notices.

A market or food hall. Wander, taste, and pick things for each other. It is relaxed and gives you plenty to talk about.

A class. Cooking, pottery or a dance lesson puts you side by side doing something new. It is easy to laugh at yourselves.

Mini golf, bowling or an arcade. coach mentions mini golf in one of his own early dating stories as a fun, low-pressure second date. It is playful and nobody has to perform.

A bookshop and a coffee. Show each other what you would choose. A small, cheap, personal date.

Something tied to the first date. If she mentioned a band, a dish or a place she loves, take her there. It shows you listen, and it gives you an instant topic.

• Weeknight: keep it short and easy. Drinks and a walk, or a casual dinner close to home.
• Indoor or bad weather: a museum, a bar with games, a cooking class, a bookshop.
• Evening: a smaller restaurant or a bar with a good atmosphere beats a loud club.
• Dinner: choose somewhere casual where you can share plates. A white-tablecloth dinner on date two feels like an interview.
• In a big city such as New York: pick one neighbourhood you like and plan the date as a walk between two or three places, rather than one reservation.
• Younger, such as teenagers: keep it public, cheap and in daytime. A park, a cafe, a film or a walk.
• Adults: a bit more thought goes a long way, so choose somewhere with some character.

A big gift or bouquet on the second date is usually too much. It can feel like pressure. If you want a gesture, make it small and tied to something she said, like picking up the sweet she mentioned. Your attention is worth more than a present.

1. Choose the place and time yourself. "Let us go to the market on Saturday at two" is better than "What do you want to do?"
2. Stay near you or near her. A far-away date makes it hard to extend when it goes well.
3. Plan two parts. Having a second stop in mind lets you extend if it is good and end cleanly if not.
4. Be a little more direct. Flirt more clearly than on the first date and let her see you like her.
5. Include easy touch. A hand on her back through a doorway or a nudge at a joke.
6. End while it is good. Leave her wanting a bit more.

Ask yourself whether the two of you will have something to look at or do besides each other. If the answer is yes, it is a good second date. If not, add a walk.