What Are Good Flirty Texts to Send a Woman?

A good flirty text is short, playful and obviously written for her. It shows you are interested without begging, teases a little, and leaves her something fun to answer. Compliments alone are not flirting, and neither is a string of kisses. Flirting is a light challenge with warmth behind it.

Three things, and one is usually enough.

A tease. A small, friendly jab that she can answer. coach teaches the push and pull: you pull her in with interest and push back a little with a playful remark. The mix is what creates the spark.

Light interest. Say that you like something about her, but name something specific. "Your laugh is great" is generic. "You laughed at your own joke before you finished it and I liked it" is hers.

A balance. Men tend to fail in two ways: too friendly, which puts them in the friend category, or too intense, which makes her feel there is nothing left to chase. Aim for in between, with room for her to lean in.

So yes, texting can be flirting, when the words carry that mix. A neutral "how was your day" is only friendly.

Opening the day. Skip "hey, how are you."

• "I was going to say good morning but you seem like someone who needs a coffee first."

When she asks how you are.

• "Better now that you're quizzing me. How about you?"
• "Surviving. Mostly thanks to a sandwich the size of my head."

When she shares a photo or a story.

• "I'm not saying you should wear that every day, but I'm not saying you shouldn't."

When she teases you. Give it back, warmly.

• She: "You're so full of yourself." You: "I'm full of good ideas. You'll find out Thursday."

When you want to move toward a plan. My order is a light question, some banter and then the close.

• "You seem like trouble. Are you free Friday to prove me wrong?"

Later in the evening, once you have met and the mood is warm. Imply, never push. Hint at your interest and let her answer set the pace.

• "I keep thinking about the way you argued with the waiter over the dessert. Come argue with me properly this week."

The same idea can be said three ways. Choose the one that fits where she is right now.

• Cool. She is friendly but not flirting yet. "You have strong opinions about coffee. I respect it. I am also going to disagree with you."
• Warm. She teases back and asks you things. "You are dangerously good at this. Is that a hobby or a profession?"
• Hot, but tasteful. You have met, there was a spark, and she is playing along. "I have a theory that you are trouble. I would like to test it on Friday."

Start one step cooler than you think you need. If she steps up, you follow. If she stays where she was, stay there too.

Send them when she is warm. If her last three answers were short and flat, a flirty text is a stretch. Raise the temperature gradually, in step with her.

coach also says to text when she can reply, and to keep the number of texts down. One good line is better than six.

If she does not flirt back, stop. A woman who gives plain, polite answers is telling you she is not on the same page. Make a clear invitation or move on, and do not escalate.

• Explicit or sexual comments. Keep it tasteful. Hinting is attractive; stating is not.
• Heavy compliments on her body. Those are the ones she has read a hundred times.
• Copy-and-paste lines. If it could be sent to anyone, she will treat it that way.
• "What are you doing?" at midnight. It is a request for attention with no point.
• Flirting to hide a plan. coach teaches that texting should lead toward a meeting. If six flirty rounds go by with no plan, you are just entertaining her on your phone.
• Long paragraphs. One or two ideas, then stop.

Read it and ask: would she smile, and could she answer in one line? If both are true, send it. If it needs a speech or fishes for a particular reaction, rewrite it. Then follow the good ones with a real invitation.