Picking Up Women at Walmart

You can pick up women at Walmart, but treat it as a place you happen to be, not a place you go hunting. Make a plain comment about what she is looking at, keep the talk light for a minute, then tell her you wanted to meet her and ask for her number. Walmart draws a huge cross-section of people, so you will see fewer women you are drawn to per hour than at a busy mall, and most visits will just be shopping.

Walmart has a lot of people in it. That sounds like an advantage until you look at who they are. a dating coach likes to call Walmart the true cross-section of humanity. Almost everybody shops there at some point, so you get every age, every type and every mood. He also points out that a mall tends to have more attractive women on average than a Walmart.

The other problem is pace. Many people at Walmart are doing a big weekly run with a full cart, kids in tow and a list on their phone. That is a woman with no spare minutes.

When students told one of the coaches in My weekly Q&A that they practice at Target or Walmart, he told them to go to a mall instead. A mall is big enough to spend an hour approaching women without being noticed. In a single store, an hour of laps makes you the man the staff keep an eye on.

Talking to a stranger at Walmart is easier than it sounds, because everyone there is in the same boat. You are all waiting in line, hunting for the right aisle or squinting at a price tag.

Comment on something you can both see. The length of the self-checkout line, a giant pack of something that will not fit in a car, a product neither of you has heard of. Say it to the cashier, to the guy next to you and to the woman you like. A man who is friendly with everybody looks normal. A man who only speaks to young women looks like he is up to something.

Once she responds, react to what she said and add something about yourself. That is a conversation. It does not need a clever line.

You want her stopped and not in a hurry. At Walmart that usually means:

• The checkout lines. Everyone stands still for a few minutes facing the same way.
• Home goods and the garden center. People browse here more than they shop from a list.
• Waiting at a locked case. If she is waiting for an employee to open a locked case, she has nothing to do for a few minutes.

Avoid the grocery section at a busy hour, where people are racing to finish, and avoid any aisle where she is buying something personal.

A friendly chat about paper towels is pleasant and goes nowhere unless you show interest. After a minute, introduce yourself by name. Then say what you are thinking: "I'll be honest, I wanted to say hi because you're cute."

My advice for shops is to start with the situation and move to the personal once she is talking, rather than opening with a big direct line in the middle of the store. The move from strangers to a man and a woman should still happen within the first couple of minutes, because she is leaving soon.

When she is smiling and talking back, ask in a way that assumes yes: "We should continue this somewhere better than aisle twelve. What's your number?" Then send her a text so your number is in her phone too.

If she is a few years older than you, the steps do not change. What changes is how you carry yourself. In one of a dating coach's weekly Q&A sessions, an eighteen-year-old student who worked at a Walmart said he kept striking out with women in their twenties. The advice he got was to make sure he did not come across as a young boy. Speak at an easy pace, have opinions, and lead the plan instead of asking her to decide everything.

Flip the ages and the rule still holds. If you are older and she is younger, be the relaxed adult, not someone trying to sound twenty.

Do not approach a woman in the parking lot or at her car. Inside the store, under the lights with people around, a friendly stranger is normal. In a big parking lot, a man walking toward her car is alarming, however nice he is. If you missed your chance inside, let it go.

If the hard part for you is walking over at all, that is exactly what the Cold Approach Bootcamp works on. It is in person and spent in the field, approaching women live in daygame settings like streets and cafes and in night game settings like bars and lounges. You get coached live on each approach, with feedback after each set.

The Bootcamp is offered in Miami and New York. Group means three consecutive days at three students per coach. Private means you and your coach alone for one, two or three days, with longer programs quoted on request. Training days are two four-hour blocks in the field, and the program specializes in approach anxiety, so no level is too early to start.