Can an Older Man Do Daygame Successfully?

Yes. Daygame is not a young man's sport. An older man gives up a few advantages and gains others, and the men who do well adjust to both. He picks his places more carefully, takes more care over how he looks, and lets a woman get to know him before his age becomes the topic.

a dating coach is 42 as he says it in one of his videos, and his view is that dating changes less after 30 than you might expect. It changes in some clear ways, and that is where to put your effort.

The biggest change is not how you look. It is that you are no longer around single, eligible women all day.

At school, and often in your 20s, you were surrounded by them without trying. By 35 or 45 most of your friends are married, you go out less, and your work is not full of women your age who are single. Daygame fixes this directly, because it puts you in front of women on purpose.

That also tells you what to do. Go where the women you like already are, more often.

a dating coach calls the idea plausible proximity. It means being around the women you want to meet in a way that does not look odd.

His example is a 35-year-old in a college town. Walking around the campus itself looks strange, because it is obvious why you are there. A coffee shop one block away does not, and any woman you meet there you can meet casually.

Think about your own version. A bookstore, a café, a park on a weekend, a food market, a gym, a running route. Anywhere a man your age would plainly be, and where women in your range are too.

a dating coach describes two kinds. There is the older man who is worldly, interesting and has his life together, and there is the one who just got older. She decides within seconds which one you are, mostly from how you look.

The advice is plain:

• Dress for your age and your build. Do not wear clothes ten years out of date, and do not dress like a teenager at 45. Fit matters more than brand.
• Get in shape. If you look 28 at 45, you are far better off than if you look 65.
• Look after the small things. A good haircut, clean grooming and shoes that are not worn out.

None of this is vanity. It is what makes the approach start on good terms.

If you are 45, you may find women of 28 or 35 attractive. That is common and it means age will come up.

a dating coach's advice is not to bring it up yourself. You want her to like you and see your value before age is a factor. He suggests you might even use a less direct style of approach than a man close to her age would, so she gets to know you first.

When it does come up, the framing matters. She should see you as a worldly, easygoing man who is secure about it. Do not apologise for it, and do not act as if she is doing you a favour. He also notes that some women actively prefer older men.

You have things a younger man does not.

You have more to talk about, because you have done more. You are calmer about the outcome, because you have been turned down before. Many men your age have a better place to take a woman and a better life to share. a dating coach mentions the teaching or mentor frame, where you can show her something about the world, as one that works for many women.

Use these in the conversation. Tell a short, specific story. Be curious about her. Do not list your accomplishments, which is the quickest way to sound like the second kind of older man.

An older man often has the most to gain from a coach, because years of not approaching leave you out of practice and unsure whether the old rules still apply. A Cold Approach Bootcamp is a coach standing beside you in the field, in Miami or New York, giving live feedback on every approach. Daygame and nightgame are mixed to suit the student, and you leave with a written practice plan.

There is no skill floor, and every level is welcome. Group has three students at most per coach, and Private is one-on-one.

Should I only approach women my own age?

No rule says so. Approach women you find attractive, with the awareness that a gap makes age a talking point and a patient start helps.

Is daytime better than night for an older man?

Often, yes. Daytime is quieter and easier to talk in, and it lets you meet women in settings that suit you. Your coach can adjust the mix.