Is the Mall a Good Place to Meet Women?

Yes. A mall is one of the better daytime places to meet women: lots of them, mostly relaxed, and often with time to spare. Coaches who teach daytime approaching rank it just behind the beach. It works if you keep your approach low key, open on the shop or the moment, and leave easily.

The catch is that it feels different from a street, and that difference throws many men more than the women do.

Women come to a mall to browse, meet a friend or kill an hour. They have no deadline, and there is plenty to talk about, because you are both looking at the same display.

It is also an indoor, public, well-lit space. A woman is rarely alone in a dark place, and she can leave in any direction. That makes a hello feel safer to her than it would on an empty side street.

A man who is comfortable at bars is often lost in a mall. A man who is comfortable on the street is often lost in a store. Moving from a familiar setting to an unfamiliar one is the thing that throws men.

The classic version: you see a woman you like, start to walk over, and she ducks into a clothing store. You stand outside for ten minutes feeling more conspicuous each minute, and then you give up.

Half the venue is useless if you cannot follow a woman into a shop. The fix is to practice in as many different settings as you can, so a surprise stops being a crisis.

You do not have to open with a line about her. Use what is in front of you.

• Ask her opinion on something you are holding, such as a jacket or a pair of shoes. Keep the exchange short and move to something about her afterward. If you stay on the subject of shoes for ten minutes, she will tire of it.
• A direct, friendly compliment on her style also works if it is calm and unhurried.
• A question about the store or the mall, such as where the good coffee is, is a plain way to begin, though it gives you only a few seconds to turn it into a real conversation.

Whatever you say, move from the opener to something that builds connection, such as her taste, her day or a small joke.

Do not limit yourself to the shops. Benches, the food court and the coffee stand are often easier, because a woman sitting down with a drink has nowhere to be for ten minutes. A simple "is anyone using this seat?" followed by a comment on what she is eating or reading is a gentle way in, and it gives her an easy exit if she prefers to be left alone.

Malls have security and staff who know that men approach women there. A loud, dramatic opener in front of them can get you asked to leave.

Choose women who are not surrounded by employees, keep your voice normal and be calm. Do not look over your shoulder to check who is watching. A man who looks guilty looks like he is up to something. A man who is simply a person shopping and saying hello looks like exactly that.

Skip a woman who is hurrying, on a call or steering a child. Skip anyone with headphones and a determined stride. Aim for women who are slowing down, looking in windows, sitting on a bench or waiting for a friend.

If she gives a short answer and turns away, thank her and go.

If it goes well, ask for her number before she goes back to her errands. If it does not, say "nice to meet you" and leave. Do not follow her through the next store. Do not come back to the same spot and wait.

The mall is a good place to try a skill you already have, and a hard one to learn in the first time.

Cold Approach runs an in-person Bootcamp in Miami and New York. It is live in the field, with coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, and Private is 1-on-1. There is no skill floor, and approach anxiety is the specialty.