Is Texting a Woman From a Dating App a Good Sign?

Yes, a little. If a woman from a dating app gave you her number, or agreed to move from messaging on the app to texting, she picked you over the other matches she could be answering. That is a real step. It is not a promise of a date, though, and what she does inside the texts matters far more than the fact that you are texting at all.

When she leaves the app, she is saying that you passed a small test. You were easy enough to talk to, safe enough to give a number to, and interesting enough to be worth a second channel.

It also tells you that she has not decided anything yet. A phone number is cheap. Many women hand it out on the understanding that they can stop replying later, and the apps make that easy because there is no friend in common to embarrass anyone.

So treat the number as an invitation to find out, not a result.

Look at what she does, not at how fast she does it.

• She writes more than a word or two, and some of it is about her own life.
• She asks you something back, and the question is specific to what you said.
• She remembers a detail from earlier and brings it up.
• She suggests something, even a vague "we should get coffee," or says yes to the place and day you propose.
• She keeps the conversation going when you are slow to reply.

One of these is a mild positive. Three or four together are a clear sign. A woman who asks you about your week and answers your plan with a time is not being polite.

a dating coach makes the point that a woman who has known you for five minutes will not put you ahead of the people she has known for years. If she goes quiet for a day, or answers late in the evening, that is usually her life, not a verdict on you.

So do not read a slow reply as rejection. Women have jobs, friends, dinners and phones that die. A pause of several hours means nothing, and a pause of a day usually means nothing too.

Short, flat answers that never add anything. No questions back to you. The same two-word reply to every plan you suggest. Replies that arrive only after you have written twice.

None of these is fatal, because she might simply be a poor texter. But they do tell you that the energy is coming from your side. a dating coach's advice on texting is to make statements and offer opinions, not to fire question after question. A conversation made only of questions feels like an interview, and it wears her out.

Whatever the signs are, the next step is the same: get to a date.

Texting is the waiting room, not the main event. A man who keeps trading messages for two weeks has almost always misjudged it, because the thrill fades and she starts to see him as a pen pal. Once the replies have some life in them, propose a specific place and a specific day, in plain words, and let her answer.

If she says yes, you have your answer. If she says she is busy and offers another time, you also have your answer. If she says nothing and changes the subject twice, you have a different answer and you can stop investing.

It stays a good sign while she is moving toward a meeting. It stops being one when the same conversation runs for weeks with no plan and the replies get thinner.

If the replies are thin from the start, do not take that as proof that she hates you. Ask once for a specific plan. A lukewarm answer to a clear invitation tells you more than another week of small talk would, and it saves you the effort of chasing something that was never going to happen.

Keep the standard simple. She texts back, she gives you something to respond to, and she is willing to meet. That is a good sign. Anything less is just a phone number.