Is Starbucks a Good Place to Meet Women?

It is a decent place, not a great one, and the difference is which Starbucks and which hour. The big advantage is that there is one everywhere and nobody wonders why you are there, so it is an easy place to meet women in person and say one friendly sentence. The big drawback is that most customers are in and out in three minutes with an order they placed on their phone. Pick a large store with seating, go when people are staying rather than grabbing, and Starbucks works fine. Pick a drive-through store at eight in the morning and it does not.

Starbucks has three things going for it.

First, there is one near almost everyone, which matters more than it sounds. a dating coach counts logistics as one of the four factors in choosing where to meet women, and a place you pass every day beats a better place across town.

Second, you fit in at any age. a dating coach's example is an older man who would look out of place on a college campus. In a Starbucks he makes complete sense, even if the woman he meets there is the same age as the students.

Third, many women go alone. Students, remote workers, nurses between shifts and shoppers taking a break all sit by themselves with a drink. That is rare in the evening.

A lot of Starbucks traffic never sits down. People order ahead, pick up at the counter and walk out. Others use the drive-through and never come inside. If you wait for a woman to stay, you can wait a long time.

That changes how you approach. In a busy store, the pickup counter is where people pause for a minute, so a quick comment about the wait or her order is your chance before she leaves. Keep it to one sentence. If she answers warmly, ask if she has a minute. If the store is quiet and people are sitting down, you have more time.

Not all locations are equal.

• Large city stores with lots of seating. These are the best. People come to sit, read and work.
• Reserve stores and roasteries. Bigger, slower and more of an outing. People come to look around, which gives you time.
• Stores inside bookstores, malls and Targets. People are already browsing and in no rush.
• Stores near universities. Full of students, though a dating coach's point about fitting in applies. If you are much older than the crowd, you may stand out.

The weakest are small drive-through stores and counters in train stations, where nobody stays.

Avoid the morning rush, roughly seven to nine on weekdays. Everyone is on the way to work.

Weekend mornings, weekday afternoons and early evenings are slower. People sit longer and look up from their phones more often.

An independent cafe often has a better atmosphere for conversation: communal tables, more regulars and a slower pace. It can also have a small crowd of regulars who all know each other, which makes every approach more visible.

Starbucks is more anonymous. If a conversation goes nowhere, nobody in the room will remember it tomorrow. For a man who is nervous about being seen, that makes it a gentler place to practice. For a man who wants a slower, more social room, the independent cafe is the better pick.

Starbucks works best as part of your week rather than a place you go to hunt. Work from the same store a couple of afternoons a week, say hello to people, and talk to whoever is next to you. Over time you become a familiar face, and familiar faces get warmer answers.

If you meet someone somewhere else, Starbucks is also a handy place to suggest for ten minutes, since there is almost always one around the corner.

The few seconds before you speak are the hard part, and they feel the same in a Starbucks as on a street. A Cold Approach Bootcamp works on those seconds in person, in Miami and New York. Each training day is two four-hour blocks of daygame and night game, with your coach watching every approach and giving feedback after every set.

Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, and Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. There is no skill floor, and every student leaves with a short written practice plan.