Is It Safe to Meet Someone From a Dating App for the First Time?

It's reasonable to meet a match in person, as long as you take a few precautions first. Check that she's a real person before you plan anything, choose a busy public place yourself, travel there and home on your own, tell a friend where you'll be, and leave if anything feels off. None of that costs you anything, and a man who suggests it looks sensible, not nervous.

Most of the danger from dating apps shows up in the messages, before anybody leaves the house. Run these checks first.

Ask for a short video call. Bumble's first date safety guide suggests a FaceTime or phone call before meeting, and says that if they hesitate, it may not be right for you. Someone genuine will find it mildly awkward and do it anyway. Try: "Before we meet, want to do a quick video call this week? Ten minutes, just so we're not strangers on Saturday."

Ask her to use the app's photo verification. Bumble also suggests asking your match to complete the app's photo verification, and asking for her last name so you can look her up.

Run a reverse image search on her photos. The FTC's page on romance scams lists this as a check. It also warns that a scammer's profile photo can show up under other names.

The FTC lists the signs of a romance scam. If you see any of these, don't plan a date:

• She moves you off the dating app to email or another messaging service very quickly.
• She says she can't meet in person. Her excuse is often that she lives or works far away, such as on an oil rig, in the military or abroad.
• She asks for money for medical bills, a plane ticket, a visa or fees. She may also offer to help you invest in cryptocurrency.
• She pushes you to act right now.

The FTC's rule: never send money or gifts to someone you haven't met in person. If you've already paid by gift card, wire transfer, card or cryptocurrency, contact the company or your bank right away and ask for a refund. Report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and to the app where you met her.

Bumble says to meet in a public place, always. Make it a busy one, and pick it yourself rather than accepting somewhere you've never heard of.

• Pick a place you know, at a normal hour: a coffee shop at 2 p.m. or a bar you already go to at 7.
• Keep it short and easy to leave. One drink, or a coffee, is enough for a first meeting.
• Get there on your own and leave on your own. Don't depend on her for a ride.
• Don't move to a private address on the first night, in either direction.

If she objects to any of this, that tells you what you need to know.

Tell a friend or a roommate who you're meeting, where, and when. Bumble suggests telling someone close to you where you're going and agreeing a time you'll contact them by. One interviewee in a Fox 6 piece said her roommate always knows where she is. RAINN, quoted in the same article, recommends taking a screenshot of the other person's profile.

Send your friend the screenshot, the place and a time. For example: "Meeting Dana from the app at the coffee place on Main at 2. I'll text you by 3:30."

Bumble says to hold back details like your home or work address until you know the person better. Don't send photos of your front door, your car's plate or your building. A work badge, a train station and a job title together can place a man exactly.

• Trust your gut. In the Fox 6 article, one woman put it this way: "If you feel uncomfortable during it, you're probably right."
• You can end the date at any time, politely. Bumble says prioritizing your own comfort is important.
• If you need help, Bumble suggests finding a bartender or waiter and asking them for help leaving. They can help you out by saying you have an urgent call. For something serious, have someone call the police or arrange a ride home.

If a match asks for explicit photos or a video, the safest rule is to send nothing explicit with your face in it to anybody you haven't met in person. If someone threatens to share something you sent, don't pay. Save every message, block her, and report her to the app and to the police.