Is It OK to Approach a Woman at a Park with a Dog?

Yes. A dog is one of the easiest openers there is, because it gives you a reason to speak that has nothing to do with her. Ask about the dog first, ask before you touch it, and let the conversation move to her only when she moves it there. If she is busy or she says no, you leave.

People type a close version of this question about airports, as in approaching a woman at an airport with a dog. That works too, with a few extra rules covered below.

In a park, a dog walker is already half in conversation with the world. Strangers stop to say hello to dogs all day, so a friendly word from you does not look unusual. She does not have to wonder why you came over, because the reason is on a leash.

It also gives both of you something to look at. You are not staring at each other. You are both looking at a golden retriever, which lowers the pressure on a first exchange for a nervous man and a cautious woman alike.

This is the one rule that matters most. Say hello to the woman first, then ask whether you can say hi to the dog. "Is he friendly? Can I say hi?" takes three seconds and shows you are a considerate person.

Never reach for a dog that has not been offered to you. Some dogs bite, some are frightened and some are in training. A stranger grabbing her dog feels invasive to her and may feel worse to the dog.

If she says yes, crouch, let the dog sniff your hand and keep your movements slow. If she says "he's shy today," smile and compliment him from where you are.

Keep the first few lines about the dog, because that is a topic she already likes. Good questions are easy ones.

• What is his name?
• How old is he?
• What breed is he, or is he a mix?
• Is he always this calm, or only here?

Her answers tell you what to do. If she smiles and tells you a story about him, she is open to talking. Ask a follow-up and then, a minute or two in, ask something about her: whether she comes here often or lives nearby.

If her answers are one word and she keeps walking, thank her and let her go. A woman who wants to talk about her dog tends to talk about her dog.

Dogs create openings, but they do not create permission. Skip the approach when:

• She is running or on a training walk with the dog.
• She is on the phone or has headphones in.
• The dog is working, for example a service dog with a vest, which should never be petted or distracted.
• The dog is nervous or pulling away from people.

At an airport, add one more. A dog in a carrier or a service animal is not an invitation. Say hello to the woman about the flight or the delay, not about the animal, and keep it very short because she has somewhere to be.

When the talk has gone well for a few minutes and she seems relaxed, make a simple suggestion. For a park, it could be that your dog or hers should meet again, or that you would like to continue over coffee near the park. Then ask for her number.

You might say: "I have to run, but I'd like to hear more about him. Can I get your number?" Hand her your phone. If she says yes, text her a photo from the park that day with her name, so she has your number too.

If she says no, say "No problem, enjoy the walk" and go. Do not point out that she talked to you for ten minutes.

Reading when a woman is open takes repetition, and it is much faster with a coach next to you. A Cold Approach Bootcamp is in person and in the field, in Miami and New York. Daygame runs through streets and cafes, and night game runs through bars and lounges.

Each training day is two four-hour coaching blocks, with live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, and Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. There is no skill floor, the program specializes in approach anxiety, and every student leaves with a short written practice plan.