Is Instagram Better Than Dating Apps?

For meeting a woman you do not know yet, dating apps are better. Everyone on one has agreed to be approached by a stranger, and nobody has agreed to that on Instagram. Instagram does its best work as a second step, after she has matched with you or met you and wants to see what you are like. Sending cold messages to women on Instagram is the weakest of the three ways to do it.

A dating app exists to introduce strangers. A woman who opens it expects messages from men she has not met, and she can ignore them at no cost.

Instagram exists for following people and sharing pictures. A message from a stranger lands in a place she uses for friends, and she has not asked for it. To her it is closer to an interruption than an introduction.

That difference decides most of what follows. On the app, you are doing the expected thing badly or well. On Instagram, you are doing an unexpected thing, and you start from behind.

a dating coach reacted to a Reddit post from a man who said he had given up, after talking to women who only wanted to chat on Instagram and would not take a call or meet. coach saw it differently. The man was messaging women who did not know him, getting hurt when they did not answer, and treating this as dating.

His advice was blunt. Watching someone's stories and liking her pictures is time you could spend on something that gets you out of the house. A woman you once exchanged a message with is not a real friend. Go meet actual women in actual places.

A DM can start a conversation, but it rarely ends in a plan. A match on an app is a woman who has already said she is open to meeting you.

a dating coach recommends using social media as a secondary attraction mechanism, not a primary one. After a woman has met you and likes you, she often looks you up. If she sees friends, travel and a life, it can move her from on the fence to off the fence, and it makes her less likely to flake.

The same works after a match. She reads your photos and answers, likes what she sees, and checks your Instagram before she agrees to a date. A woman who finds a real man there is easier to get out the door.

Getting famous on Instagram is the other route, and a dating coach is honest that it is very hard to get that many eyeballs. He does not suggest relying on being approached by women, because it fills only a tiny share of a dating calendar. A man with a real audience is playing a different game from the rest of us, and most men reading this are not that man yet.

It happens, and it is not a rejection. Some women hand over an Instagram name because it feels lower pressure than a phone number. a dating coach says Instagrams are a viable thing to take, though he prefers the number because it is a more man-to-man exchange.

Either way, the handle is a way to a plan, not a place to live. Follow her, send a short message that refers to something you actually talked about, and ask her out for a particular day within a few messages. A chat that stays in the comments and stories for weeks is the same dead end as a match you never meet.

You do not have to choose. a dating coach's view, about online dating and meeting women in person, is that they are not mutually exclusive, and he suggests doing both.

The same logic applies here. Use the dating app to meet. Use Instagram to back you up once she has agreed to talk. Use real life for the rest, because a woman you meet in person is the most direct route there is.

Pick one dating app and keep it to a short daily box. Move to a plan within a few messages, and give her your number or your Instagram only when there is a plan on the table.

Stop sending cold messages to women you have never spoken to. Spend that time on a photo, a first line, or a class where you will meet women in person.