Is Dating Different in Brooklyn and Manhattan?

Yes, in a few ways that matter. Manhattan is the densest borough, with the most bars, offices and foot traffic, and it is the easiest place to get a woman to show up for a date. Brooklyn has more people than any other borough but feels more residential, with slower streets, big parks and neighborhood bars. You can meet women in person in either one. What changes is the setting, the crowd and the travel.

Most men live in one and go out in both. Knowing how they differ helps you choose where to spend a Saturday afternoon, where to go at night and where to suggest a date.

Manhattan is the smallest of New York's five boroughs and the most densely populated. Its land is all of New York County, which has less area than any other county in the country. Its sidewalks carry commuters, tourists, students and shoppers all day, and its avenues rarely go quiet.

Brooklyn is the most populous borough, spread over a much larger area. Many of its neighborhoods are blocks of homes with a strip of shops and cafes running through them. People there are often out on their own time, walking a dog, going to the market or sitting in a park, rather than rushing between meetings.

That difference in pace shows up the moment you try to start a conversation.

In Manhattan, the sidewalks are packed but hurried. a dating coach points out that many women on the street have headphones in or are moving through crowds that make them hard to reach. His answer is the parks. Washington Square, Bryant, Madison Square and Union Square are his favorites, because a woman who sits in one has stopped moving and came out to be among people.

Brooklyn is slower almost everywhere. Prospect Park, McCarren Park and the waterfront lawns in north Brooklyn fill up on a warm day, and the neighborhood cafes have women working or reading for an hour at a time. You get fewer women per block than in Midtown, but more of them have time to talk.

One more Brooklyn quirk: neighborhoods feel local, so you may see the same woman at the same coffee shop next week. Leave every conversation on friendly terms, even the short ones.

coach splits New York's nights into three levels. At the bottom are bars with no line. In the middle are clubs where the doorman picks who gets in. At the top are the most exclusive rooms, reached through a promoter or a large bill. Manhattan has all three, plus a long list of rooftop bars, which coach rates above everything else in summer since you can hear each other up there.

Brooklyn's night is mostly the first tier plus music venues and late dance spots, especially in Williamsburg and Bushwick. There are fewer velvet ropes and fewer doormen sizing you up. Many Brooklyn bars are also easier to talk in, which suits a man who wants conversations more than a scene.

Here the two boroughs really split. My advice on dating logistics in New York is blunt. Getting women to come to Manhattan, especially Lower Manhattan, is very easy. Getting women who live in Manhattan to travel out to the other boroughs is very hard. Of Brooklyn, he makes an exception for Williamsburg, which he calls probably okay.

In practice:

• If you live in Brooklyn and she lives in Manhattan, plan the first date in Manhattan, near her.
• If you both live in Brooklyn, the problem disappears, but check the trip. Some Brooklyn neighborhoods are close on a map and far apart by train.
• If you met her in Brooklyn and she lives in Manhattan, an instant date that night solves it, since a coffee shop or bar is usually a block or two away.

For a man choosing where to live for dating, My pick is Manhattan below about 60th Street, with Williamsburg as the one Brooklyn option he would consider.

Both boroughs are full of people who moved to New York recently, which coach says makes the whole city more open to talking than places where everyone grew up together.

The mix differs. Manhattan draws a heavier share of finance, law and corporate workers, plus students and tourists, and its nights out can feel more dressed up. North Brooklyn leans toward creative and media work and a more casual look, while neighborhoods like Park Slope have more couples and young families. Dress for where you are going, and do not assume one borough has better women. You will meet women you like in both.

Reading a borough is the easy half. Walking up to a woman you want to meet is the half that takes practice. Cold Approach runs its Bootcamp in New York and Miami, fully in the field, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you. Each training day is two four-hour blocks, with live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Group is three consecutive days at a 3:1 ratio of students to coaches. Private is one, two or three days, fully 1-on-1. There is no skill floor, and you leave with a written practice plan.