Facebook Dating lives inside the Facebook app for Android or iPhone. Open the app, tap Menu, then tap Dating. To get access you have to be at least 18, have a Facebook account in good standing that is at least 30 days old, and live in a country where Dating is available.

The steps

Dating sits inside the Facebook app you probably already have on your phone.

  1. Open the Facebook app on your Android phone or iPhone.
  2. Tap Menu.
  3. Tap Dating.
  4. Follow the prompts to set yourself up.

If Dating appears and opens, you are in, and the rest is setting up well. If it does not appear, check the requirements below one by one.

If you cannot find Dating

Work through the requirements one at a time.

  • Are you in the app? Facebook describes Dating as available from the Facebook app for Android or iPhone, so look there rather than on a computer.
  • Are you 18 or older? Dating is for adults only.
  • Is your account at least 30 days old? A Facebook account opened last week will not have access yet.
  • Is your account in good standing? If Facebook has restricted your account for going against its rules, that can keep Dating out of reach.
  • Do you live in a country where Dating is available? Facebook keeps a list of those countries on its Dating help page.

If you meet every requirement and still cannot see it, scroll the whole Menu carefully before you decide something is wrong. The Menu holds a lot, and Dating is easy to scroll past.

The 30-day wait

The account-age rule trips up men who joined Facebook just to use Dating.

If that is you, there is nothing to do but wait for the account to reach 30 days. Do not try to get around it. Use the time instead. Take a few decent photos in daylight with a friend. Write down a handful of specific things about your life that you could mention. When the month is up, you will set up properly in ten minutes instead of rushing through it with whatever is on your camera roll.

Before your first matches arrive

How you set yourself up decides what happens next, so do not rush it. Ten careless minutes here can waste every week that follows.

Lead with a clear, recent photo of your face, taken in good light, where you look relaxed. Add a few more that show how you actually live: with friends, doing something you enjoy, somewhere you actually go. Leave out the gym mirror selfie and the group shot where she has to guess which one is you.

When Dating asks you questions, answer them properly. Specific beats general every time. "I like travel and food" tells her nothing. "Just back from a week of eating my way around Lisbon" gives her a picture and something to reply to.

Your first messages

Facebook Dating is a place to start conversations, and the first line you send carries most of the weight.

Keep it short. Pick one specific thing from her photos or answers, say something light about it, and ask an easy question she can answer in a line. If she has a photo on a ski lift looking unimpressed, "You look like the ski lift personally let you down. Good day on the slopes or a bad one?" works because it shows you looked and gives her an easy way in.

Skip "hey", skip compliments about her looks, and skip long paragraphs about yourself. Women see those constantly, and none of them give her anything to answer.

Same rules as the other dating apps

Facebook Dating can feel different from the other apps, but what works on it is the same as anywhere else.

The goal is a date, not a pen pal. Once a conversation is easy, suggest a drink as a light idea after a few exchanges. A few messages later, ask for her number so the two of you can pick a day and a place. If she seems unsure about meeting, offer a quick call first.

Expect the same ups and downs, too. Some days nobody writes back, and some conversations fade after two lines. That is normal on every app. The men who do well keep writing good first lines and keep moving the good conversations toward a plan. They do not judge the whole app after one slow weekend.

Pick somewhere public, easy to get to, and close to where you are, so the date is simple to say yes to. A good first date from any app is short, relaxed and easy to extend if it is going well.