How to Stop Seeing Friends of Friends on Facebook Dating

Go into Settings inside Dating, open Privacy Settings, and switch off Suggest friends of friends. Facebook has this suggestion turned on unless you turn it off, so if you never touched it, people connected to your friends are part of what Dating shows you. With the switch off, you can keep swiping without running into your sister's college roommate.

Open the Facebook app and tap Menu, then tap Dating. Tap the profile icon in the top right corner, then tap Settings.

Scroll down and tap Privacy Settings. You will see a switch next to Suggest friends of friends. Tap it to turn it off.

That is all it takes. If you change your mind later, the same switch turns it back on.

The setting controls whether Dating suggests friends of friends as matches. Switch it off and those people stop appearing among your suggestions.

It helps to know what was already private. Your own Facebook friends cannot see your Dating profile in the first place, so this setting is about the next ring out: people who share at least one friend with you.

It also only covers suggestions. Sending a crush to a friend or a friend of a friend is a separate choice you make yourself, and turning this switch off does not stop you from doing it.

Privacy is the obvious one. If you work in a small industry, live in a small town, or simply keep your personal life to yourself, you may not want a coworker's wife's best friend weighing up your photos.

History is another. After a breakup, the friends of your ex's friends are exactly the women you do not want to see, or to be seen by. The same goes for a tight friend group where word travels fast.

And some men just want a clean slate. Dating is where they meet people outside their life, and friends of friends feel too close to home.

All of these are fair, and you do not need a better reason than wanting to.

Friends of friends are, for many men, the best pool on the whole app. There is a reason people used to meet partners through friends for generations.

A woman who shares a friend with you is not a total stranger. There is a built-in connection you can mention in your first line. Her friend may have already said something good about you. And she can check that you are a normal, decent guy, which makes a first date feel safer for her and easier to agree to.

That shared connection is a kind of social proof. A woman you meet through your wider social circle starts with some trust in you already, and a stranger has to earn all of it from zero.

The trade for that built-in trust is that your behavior travels. A crude opener to a friend of a friend does not stay between the two of you.

So write the way you would talk to her at a mutual friend's dinner party. Be warm and a little playful, and suggest a plan without pushing. If she is not interested, let it go gracefully. You will probably be in the same room as her one day, and you want that to be easy for both of you.

The shared friend makes a good opening line, as long as you use it lightly. "I think we both survived Dan's karaoke birthday" gives her something to laugh about and answer. Leaning on the friend for the whole conversation does the opposite, because she wants to know about you, not about Dan.

The upside is real. Handled well, one good date with a friend of a friend can lead to invitations to things where you meet several more.

You do not have to decide forever. Turn the setting off while a breakup is fresh or while you are keeping things quiet at work. Turn it back on when you are ready to use your wider network again.

Check it after any big change in your life, such as a new job, a move, or a new group of friends. The right answer for you can change, and the switch takes ten seconds either way.