How to Meet Women in New York in Winter

Meet women in New York in winter by going where they stop moving: cafes, bookstores, hotel lobbies, indoor markets and stores. Dress warm and put-together so you look good in a coat, keep your opener quick, and ask for Instagram or a number before she has to get back out into the cold. The cold changes where and how long you talk. It does not stop you.

The same answer fits "how to dress for a New York winter," since what you wear decides how long you can stay out and how you look when you walk up.

Women walk faster in winter and want to get indoors. A sidewalk conversation that would last ten minutes in June lasts one in January. Nobody wants to stand still in a January wind.

a dating coach teaches that women who are relaxed and not in a hurry are the easiest to meet. In winter, that means two things. Look for women who have already stopped somewhere warm. And when you do talk outside, keep it short and get to the point.

New York gives you plenty of warm places where people slow down:

• Cafes and coffee shops. The best winter spots, since people sit for a while.
• Bookstores and shops. People browse slowly and are open to a friendly comment.
• Hotel lobbies and lounges. Many are open and comfortable, with people waiting or relaxing.
• Indoor food halls and markets. A crowd that is out for fun, not rushing.
• Bars and lounges in the evening. Winter nights are long, and people want somewhere warm.

Look for women who are not on a mission. A woman standing in front of a shelf or waiting for a drink has time. A woman rushing through a station does not.

You need to look good and stay warm, and the coat is the main piece. A heavy coat that fits well and is clean is worth more than any other item. Choose a dark, simple color and a cut that sits right on your shoulders.

Add a scarf and gloves that match, and boots that are clean and can handle slush. Dry, clean shoes matter more than you think, since women notice shoes.

Under the coat, wear something neat that you can still be in when you take it off indoors. Do not dress so warmly that you look like a bundle, and do not dress so lightly that you are shivering. A man who is visibly cold looks stressed, and a stressed face is a poor first impression.

Outdoors, you have about thirty seconds before she wants to move on. Say hello, give her a reason you stopped her and say one thing about yourself. Then, if she is warm to it, suggest moving inside or swapping Instagram.

Indoors, you can take your time. Ask a plain question about the place or what she is drinking or reading, and let the conversation run for a few minutes.

Winter makes it easy to lose someone. She says she has to catch a train, and she is gone. So close earlier than you would in summer.

When it is going well, say, "I have to go too, but I would like to keep talking. What is your Instagram?" Or suggest a coffee for later in the week. Then send a text within a day, with something specific from the conversation.

Winter nights start early and the bars fill with people looking for a warm room. If you like night game, early evening is again the best time, while the room is still open and quiet enough to talk.

The Cold Approach Bootcamp runs in New York and Miami. Each training day is two four-hour blocks in the field, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you. Your coach decides where to take you, which keeps you from spending hours standing in the cold with no plan.

Group is three consecutive days with no more than three students per coach, and Private is fully 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. Dates are arranged after you book.