How to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Confident About Her Body

Tell her specific things you love about how she looks, mean them, and say them often. When she is down on herself, listen first, and do not argue with her or lecture her. Never joke about her body or compare it to anyone else's. Keep showing that you want her, because feeling desired helps more than any speech. If it goes deeper than a bad week, encourage her to talk to someone who can help.

Tell your girlfriend she is beautiful every day, look her in the eyes when you say it, and mean it. Men skip this because it seems obvious, or because they fear it sounds like simping. The answer is that when she is your girlfriend and the feeling is mutual, it is not simping. It is being romantic, and it is the kind of simple daily act that turns into a healthy relationship, because she knows she is loved and appreciated.

Specific beats general. "You look great" is easy to wave away. "That green on you is ridiculous, I couldn't focus at dinner" is harder to dismiss because it shows you noticed. Talk about her whole self, not one body part, and do not add a condition like "for someone who just had a long week."

She may brush off the first few. Keep going. Compliments land through repetition, not through one big one.

You will hear it: "I hate how I look in this," "I've gotten so fat," "Don't look at me." Your instinct will be to argue or to cheer her up fast. Try neither.

With a girlfriend who complains, the best first move is often to listen, sympathize, and give affection, not advice. Advice can come later, if it comes at all, once she has been heard. Something like this works:

• "I'm sorry you're feeling that way today. I don't see what you see, but I get that it feels real. Come here."
• "Do you want me to just listen, or do you want my help with something?"

Then do what she asks. Do not argue point by point or tell her that she is being silly. If a hug is welcome, give one.

• Comments on her weight or what she eats, even gently or "for her health."
• Comparisons to an ex, a friend, a model or a woman on your phone.
• Jokes about her body. She will remember them longer than you do.
• "You've changed," in any tone.
• Using her insecurity as ammunition in an argument.
• Advice she did not ask for, such as "you should work out more."

A good rule is that if you would feel stung hearing it about your own body from her, do not say it.

Compliments are cheaper than behavior, and she knows it. Never stop seducing your girlfriend. Many men put in effort at the start and then slide into routines. She starts to feel unappreciated and neglected, and women, like everyone, tend to build theories to explain why. One of those theories is usually about her body.

So keep the effort up. Reach for her hand. Flirt in the kitchen. Plan dates and dress up for them. Put your phone down when she walks in. Make it clear in small, tasteful ways that you are drawn to her. If she is not in the mood or does not want to be touched that day, accept it without sulking. Desire that respects her answer is the kind that builds trust.

Some women want to change a habit or a look, and that is her choice. Support what she picks and let her lead. Offer to join, if she wants company: a walk after dinner, cooking together, a class. Do not turn it into your project, track her progress, or comment on her plate. Praise effort and how she feels, such as her energy or her mood, not the number on a scale.

Your attention tells her something. If you often comment on other women's bodies, scroll through models in front of her, or stare when she is talking to you, she will draw her own conclusions. Some men even have to stay off social media to stop noticing other women during a relationship. Whatever the temptation, managing it is your job, and it should not be visible to her.

Feeling insecure now and then is common. If she skips meals, stops seeing friends, avoids mirrors and cameras, or seems low for weeks, it may be more than that. Tell her you are worried, say it with care, and suggest she talk to a doctor or a counselor. Offer to go along if that helps. You cannot fix it with compliments, and you should not try to diagnose it yourself.