How to Greet Your First Date

Smile, say her name, offer a short warm greeting and one specific line, and then start walking or sit down. That is a good greeting. It takes under ten seconds, and it sets the tone for the rest of the night. This holds even when you have only texted her before. You will also find below what to take with you and what to wear, since men ask all three together.

When you see her, stop what you are doing with your phone, look at her, and smile before you speak. Say something like "Hey, Anna, good to finally meet you." Then add one short, true line: "You found the place fine?" or "I like that spot you picked."

You are not trying to impress her in the first ten seconds. You are trying to make her feel at ease. A woman meeting a man from an app has a small amount of nerves, and a warm, calm start removes them.

Arrive a few minutes early. Being late adds stress to both of you, and being early lets you settle your breathing.

Check how you look in a window or your phone camera, then put the phone away. Do not be on your phone when she walks up. If she has to wait for you to look up, the first thing she learns about you is that something else had your attention.

If you are meeting inside a place, pick a spot where you can see the door. If you are meeting outside, stand somewhere easy to find, and not hidden by a crowd.

Stand up if you are sitting. Face her, give a real smile, and use her name. Hearing her own name in a friendly voice relaxes most people.

Keep your voice at an easy level, a bit slower than usual. Nerves make men talk fast and high. Slowing down fixes both.

Do not start with a list of questions. Do not start with a joke you rehearsed. A plain, warm line works better than a clever one, because she is reading your mood more than your words.

There is no one right answer, and she will often decide it. The simple approach is to let her set the pace.

Open your posture and lean in slightly. If she steps in for a hug, give a brief, relaxed one. If she holds back, a smile and a friendly hello are enough. A stiff handshake can feel like a business meeting, so skip it unless she offers a hand.

If you have already chatted a lot, a short hug is usually welcome. If you barely know each other, a smile and a hello are safe. Either way, keep it brief, and do not hold on.

A compliment can work if it is short and specific, not a speech about her looks. "That color looks great on you" lands better than a long run of praise.

Then move on to something easy: the place, the walk over, a small thing you noticed. You are heading into a conversation, and the greeting is only the door to it. If you are not sitting down yet, say where you are going and walk together.

Less than you think.

• Your phone, charged, in your pocket and out of sight.
• Your wallet or card, so paying is not awkward.
• Your keys.
• A mint or gum, used before you meet her, not in front of her.

Flowers are optional and depend on the style of the date. If you bring anything, keep it simple and easy to carry. Do not bring a gift that makes her feel she owes you something. Leave the big bag at home.

Clothes that fit, are clean and match the place. A first date at a casual coffee shop does not call for a jacket, and a nice dinner does not call for a gym shirt. Pick something you have worn before and feel comfortable in, because a man who is fidgeting with an unfamiliar outfit looks nervous.

Shoes matter more than men expect. Clean, simple shoes make a good impression, and worn-out ones tell her you did not think about it.

If she is a few minutes late, send a short, calm text: "No rush, I'm here." If you cannot find each other, describe what you are wearing and where you are standing. If you are the one who is late, say so early and keep it short, without a long apology.

A rough start is not a problem if you handle it in a relaxed way. How you respond to a small mess tells her more than a perfect hello would.