How to Go to a Wedding Where You Do Not Know Anyone

Use the one thing every guest shares: the couple. Ask people how they know the bride or groom, make friends at your table, and let those people introduce you to others. Talk to the bridesmaids, the groomsmen and anyone standing alone. A wedding is built for meeting strangers, and a warm, low-pressure hello fits in perfectly.

At a wedding, everyone is already in a good mood, and everyone has a common reason to be there. Nobody finds it strange that you say hello. Many guests are in the same position and would welcome a friendly face.

Women at the event share the same connection to the couple that you do. That makes a first conversation simple. "How do you know the bride?" is a question that needs no cleverness at all.

Ask the couple who will be there and who is single and sits near you. Ask whether anyone else is coming alone. A host who says "you should meet my cousin" has done half the work.

Dress well and comfortably. A suit that fits, polished shoes and a haircut a few days earlier are worth more than any line. Eat something before the reception so you are not hungry and sharp-tongued.

Decide your goal: say hello to five people. That is enough.

Arrive on time, find a seat and say hello to the people near you. A smile and "I am Alex, a friend of the groom from college" gives them an easy way to answer.

Keep it light. You are not working a room yet. You are warming up.

This is the best window. People stand in loose groups, drinks in hand, with time to talk. Walk up to a small group or a person on their own and ask how they know the couple.

Listen to the answer and ask a second question. If she says she was in college with the bride, ask for the best story about her. If someone says he is a cousin, ask what family weddings are like. People love to tell the story of how they fit in.

Keep your own stories short. A sentence or two about how you know the couple is enough.

Treat your table like a small party. Learn every name, ask each person a question, and pour water for the person beside you. A man who makes a table feel good becomes the center of it without trying.

Make friends first and have them introduce you to others. If a table mate says "come meet my friends," go. Moving through a wedding on the arm of a new friend is the easiest way to meet more people.

You do not have to dance well. Join a group, clap, sing along, and have fun. A man who is enjoying himself draws people toward him.

If you want to talk with a woman, ask her to dance in a relaxed way: "Come on, this song is too good to sit out." If she says no, smile and move on. You can ask someone else, or dance with a group.

Be honest and warm. If you enjoy talking to a woman, say so near the end of the night and ask for her number or her Instagram. A message like "I liked meeting you, I would like to see you again" is clear and easy to respect.

Do not follow her around the room or hover. If she is with friends and talks only briefly, accept it. Most weddings have many other people to meet.

The skill under all of this is starting a conversation with a stranger and staying relaxed. The more you practice it with someone beside you who gives honest feedback, the less a room full of strangers bothers you.

Cold Approach's Bootcamp is in person and fully in the field, in Miami and New York. You get live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach. Private is fully one-on-one for one, two or three days.

Each training day is two four-hour blocks, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you. There is no skill floor, a total beginner is welcome, and approach anxiety is a specialty. The next wedding will feel like a room of people you simply have not met yet.