How to Get a Woman's Number in a Pilates Class Ideas

The best ideas all come down to one thing: get her number outside the class, after a few friendly conversations, by suggesting something specific you could do together. A pilates class is a small room you will both come back to, so a fast ask on the first day puts both of you in an awkward spot for weeks. Talk before and after class, let her get to know you, then suggest a plan, such as a coffee after Saturday's session, and take her number to set it up. Approaching a woman in a class works the same way for a newcomer as for a regular, just a little more slowly.

On the street, you meet a woman once, so you ask in the first conversation or never. A class is different. You will probably see her again next week, which takes the pressure off the first conversation.

Use that. The first time, just talk. The second time, pick up where you left off. By the third or fourth, she knows your name, you know a bit about her week, and a number feels like the obvious next step instead of a surprise.

Waiting has a limit, though. If you chat warmly for two months and never ask, you become the friendly guy from class, and that is hard to undo. Three or four good conversations is about right.

A number is easier to give when it comes attached to something real. Here are a few that suit a pilates class.

• Coffee or a smoothie after class. Most studios have a cafe nearby, and after class is when people are relaxed and hungry. "I'm getting a smoothie after this. Come with me" is a light invitation.
• A different class together. If she has mentioned wanting to try a harder level or another instructor, suggest going together. Be honest that you would like to see her, not just a workout partner.
• A place she mentioned. If she told you about a restaurant or a market she likes, suggest going. This is where listening pays off.
• A plain ask. Sometimes the cleanest idea is no idea at all. "I always like talking to you after class. I'd like to take you for a drink sometime."

Whatever you suggest, say it outside the studio or on the way out. Never do it in the middle of the room where the instructor and five other people are listening.

Once she says yes to the plan, the number follows naturally. a dating coach's approach is to agree on seeing each other first and take the number second, so it feels like the result of a good conversation rather than a favor she is doing you. "Great, so I should take your number," and hand her your phone.

"What's your number?" beats "Can I have your number?" The second sounds like a request she can turn down. The first assumes you both want to talk again, which by now you do.

Text her soon after so she has your name. Do not dash off the moment you have the number. Stay and talk for another minute on the sidewalk.

Being new is useful. You have real questions: which instructor is best, how to set up the reformer, whether the soreness ever goes away. People like helping a newcomer, and those questions start conversations without any pretending.

Just do not let the first conversation be the ask. Ask her for advice in your first week and for her number a few classes later.

A pilates class is a small group of regulars who know each other and talk about each other. If you ask out one woman and then another, the room notices. The usual coaching advice for any group like this is simple: be friendly with everyone, and if you want to date someone, choose one.

The same goes for the instructor. She is at work, and her job depends on everyone feeling comfortable. If you are interested in her, wait until you know her well, and ask once, away from class.

You will see her on Thursday, so how you handle a no matters more than usual. Smile, say "No problem," and keep coming to class as normal. Say hello next week as if nothing happened.

A man who takes a no gracefully stays welcome in the room. A man who goes cold, rearranges his schedule around her, or asks again does not.

Asking for a number feels very different when you know you will see her again. Practicing on women you will never see again makes the regular ones easier. A Cold Approach Bootcamp is in person and in the field, in Miami and New York, with daygame and night game mixed to suit you and live coaching on every approach.

Each training day is two four-hour coaching blocks. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, and Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days. There is no skill floor, and every student leaves with a short written practice plan.