How to Get a Woman's Number at a 5K Race

Approach her before the start or after the finish, never while she is running. A 5K hands you an easy opener in the course, the weather or her pace. It also gives you a shared experience to talk about and a natural reason to see her again at the next race or on a weekend run. The best moment to get her number is the finish area, when everyone is relaxed, proud of themselves and standing around with a medal and a banana.

Before the start, runners stand in the corral for ten or twenty minutes with nothing to do but stretch and wait. Nerves make people chatty. A comment to the woman next to you is completely normal here, and it gives you a reason to look for her afterward.

During the race, leave her alone. She is focused on her breathing, her pace and often her music. Even if you are running side by side, a full conversation at race pace is hard work for both of you, and trying to start one reads as odd. At most, a quick "Nice pace" as you pass is fine.

After the finish is the best window by far. The work is over, people hang around for water, snacks, photos and results, and many races have music or a small party in the finish area. Everyone is in a good mood and nobody is in a hurry.

The race gives you plenty to work with. Her bib, her race shirt, a costume at a themed run, the color powder all over her at a color run. "Was that last hill as bad for you as it was for me?" "What was your goal time? Tell me you beat it." "I think you passed me around the halfway mark, and I took it personally."

Keep it light and a little playful. Then move off the race and on to her. Does she run often, does she do these with friends, what got her into it.

a dating coach puts it plainly: a phone number by itself is useless. A number that comes after a conversation she enjoyed is the one she answers. A number from a man she spoke to for twenty seconds is the one that goes quiet.

So spend a few real minutes talking before you ask. You already share something, which gives you a head start. You both just ran the same course on the same morning. Find out whether she runs regularly, whether there is a run club she likes or another race she is planning. Each of those is a ready-made reason to see each other again.

My favorite way to get a number works especially well at a race. First, suggest seeing each other again: "This was fun. We should do the next one together," or "We should get a coffee after a run sometime." When she agrees, you say "Cool, so what's your number?"

Notice what that wording avoids. "Can I have your number?" asks for a yes or a no, and it can sound like you are begging for a favor. Asking what her number is, after she has already agreed to meet again, makes it the obvious next step for both of you.

Text her right away while you are standing there, so she has your number too. My experience is that women rarely contact a man who only gave out his own number.

Do not sprint off the second you have it. coach calls that the number bandit move, because it tells her the number was your only goal. Stay for another minute, finish the conversation, and then go: "I have to find my friends. I'll text you."

Races also give you a perfect first text. Official results usually go up online within a day, with every runner's time. "Just saw the results. You beat me by four minutes, so the coffee is on you" is a light, specific message that she will reply to. Then suggest a real plan with a day attached.

Plenty of women run with a team, a charity group or a crowd of friends in matching shirts. That is fine. Talk to the group, be friendly with all of them, and let the conversation drift toward her. Her friends will be in a celebrating mood too, and a man who is fun to be around after a race gets a warm welcome.

If she is clearly there with a boyfriend, congratulate them both and leave it there.

The ask itself is easy once you have done it a few dozen times. The first few are where most men hesitate, overthink and walk away.

The Cold Approach Bootcamp gives you those reps with a coach beside you, in person and fully in the field in Miami and New York. Daygame runs in streets and cafes and night game in bars and lounges, with live coaching on every approach and feedback after every set. Numbers and dates are one of the four parts covered every training day. Group is three consecutive days at three students per coach, Private is 1-on-1 for one, two or three days, and every student leaves with a written practice plan.