How to Answer the "All I Ask Is That You" Prompt on Hinge

Ask for one small, specific thing, keep the wording short and light, and let her fill in the rest. A student on one of our live reviews asked a woman to be a loving mom to his puppy, adding that the dog has been through a lot. Our coach called the answer sweet, and then flagged the second half: "he has been through a lot" reads as a little concerning. A good answer to this prompt makes her smile. A weak one makes her ask a question you did not mean to raise.

The coach did not tell the student to scrap the puppy answer. He said it is cute and fine in the right context, and that its sweetness helps when the other prompts are polarizing.

In that review, though, the other prompts were not very polarizing. One was fairly positive. One was meant to be edgy but came across more bitter than polarizing. So the sweet answer had nothing to balance against. The same words would have done a better job on a profile that already had an edge elsewhere.

"He has been through a lot" was the line that bothered the coach. He said he did not know what it meant and that it was a little weird and concerning.

This prompt invites a request, and a request invites a reader to wonder about the life behind it. If a phrase makes her ask what happened, either tell her in a way that lightens it or cut it. When you leave a gap in a short answer, the reader fills it with her worst guess.

The coach gave another student in the same review a blunt instruction about length. When an answer repeats itself or runs long, cut it to the bare minimum and let her fill in the rest.

For this prompt, that means one clause. "All I ask is" is already a setup. The answer is the punchline. You do not need to explain why it matters to you, or say it twice in two different ways, which is what the long answer in that review did.

A different prompt in that same review was a serious one about who should not go out with the writer. Its answer sounded bitter about a woman calling him constantly while he was away. The coach said the combination made the whole thing sound angry and more serious than the man meant it to be. His advice was to pick something playful and light for a serious prompt.

"All I ask" is serious in the same way. It sounds like terms. If your answer sounds like a grievance or a demand, a woman hears a man who has been let down before. A light answer to a serious-sounding prompt does the opposite: it sounds like a man who is relaxed enough to joke about what he wants.

The prompt is also a chance to show standards. In one of our lessons, a coach walks through his own Hinge answer to a what-I-am-looking-for prompt. He described the woman as beautiful, brilliant and perhaps a little arrogant, and then explained each choice.

He went for the best, not for cute or nice or sweet. He said he was fine with her being arrogant, because the most attractive women often are, and that being unintimidated by that is a high-value trait. He also pointed out that he spent time on the wording so it sounds good. Stating standards makes a man more attractive, but only if it is written well.

Our prompts lesson says to write five or six answers for the prompts you like and cut down to the best three. A prompt is a vehicle for one of your attractive traits, and this one is a vehicle for what you want and what you will not compromise on.

Try one answer that is sweet, one that is playful, and one that states a standard with an edge. Then check them against the rest of the set. If you already have a bold prompt, a warm answer here rounds you out. If everything else is gentle, this is the place to take the risk.