How Do You Set Game Goals for the Year?

Set goals you fully control, which means actions, and measure them weekly. A good yearly goal is something like "approach ten women a week and review my notes every Sunday," not "get a girlfriend" or "sleep with twenty women." The first kind of goal depends on you. The second kind depends on strangers, timing and luck, so it makes a bad scoreboard.

Imagine you aim for three dates a month and you hit zero for two months. Nothing about your skill has necessarily changed. You may have approached forty women in that stretch and met fewer who were free. Or you may have approached two and told yourself the problem was bad luck.

A result goal cannot tell those two men apart. An action goal can. If you said ten approaches a week and the log shows four, you know exactly what to fix.

a dating coach draws the same line when he describes a good approach as one where you walked up and spoke, whatever she did next. Judging yourself on that bar keeps you moving when the replies are cold.

Pick a weekly count of approaches you can hit in a bad week, not an ideal one. A man with a full job and no experience might choose five. A man with more time might choose fifteen. The right number is one you hit nearly every week for a month, because hitting it is what builds the habit.

Raise it only when it has felt easy for several weeks in a row. A goal you miss repeatedly teaches you that your goals are fiction.

One number is not a plan. Layer a few more on top.

• A skill goal. Choose one thing to improve for a quarter, such as holding eye contact, saying your opener with a calm voice, or asking for a number without apologizing. One skill at a time gets better faster than five at once.
• A comfort goal. Name the situation that scares you most, like a woman in a group or a woman who looks out of your league, and approach it on purpose twice a month.
• A life goal. Where do you want to live, what do you want your evenings to look like, what kind of woman do you want next to you? Write five qualities, then write where such women spend their time. If you want to be near them, your calendar should show it.

Sit down with a pen and answer this: what would you do this year if you were not afraid? Write five things, and circle the ones that involve other people. Most men find that the list is mostly small, specific actions they have avoided for months, like talking to the woman in their gym or booking a trip alone.

Those answers are where your goals should come from. They are far more motivating than a number you picked because a coach said so.

A goal that lives in your head dies by February. Block the hours. Two evenings and one weekend afternoon for approaching, one slot for reviewing your week, and one for something that has nothing to do with women, like training or friends.

Choose your places in advance. Know which cafe, which street and which bar you will use on Thursday, so you do not stand outside deciding.

After each outing, write three lines: how many women you spoke to, one thing that went well, and one thing you would change. Read the log once a month. You will see things you could not feel in the moment, like that your approaches get better after the third one of the night, or that you skip every woman who is with a friend.

Then adjust the plan. A goal that no longer fits your life is a bad goal, and you are allowed to change it. What you are not allowed to do is stop reviewing.

The men who stay with this for years are the ones who also build a body they like, friends they see, work they are proud of and a place they enjoy coming home to. Approaching women is the practice, and the rest is what makes your life worth bringing her into.

If you want someone beside you for the harder parts, a Cold Approach Bootcamp puts you in the field with a coach in Miami or New York, and you leave with a written plan for what to practice next.