Should You Send a Hinge Like With a Comment or Without One?

Send the comment when you have something real to say about the photo or prompt you liked. Hinge's own help page says adding a comment to your Like makes it more likely to get a response, and Hinge research says 72% of daters are more likely to consider a potential match when the like includes a message. If nothing specific comes to you, send the plain Like. A generic comment is barely better than none.

On Hinge, the first thing you send a woman is a Like, and it goes on a specific photo or prompt on her profile. In Discover, tap the heart on a photo or prompt, then confirm by tapping Send Like. The comment is optional.

Once you send it, her profile leaves your Discover feed until she responds, and you won't see the profiles you've liked until they choose to match with you. If she likes you back, she shows up as a new match and you can chat.

So the comment is your whole first impression. She sees it before she sees anything else you've said.

The strongest source is Hinge itself, in two lines: its Likes page says a comment makes a response more likely, and its Convo Starters page gives the 72% figure.

Beyond that, it's blog numbers, and they don't agree with each other. One page on a dating-stats site says commented likes get three times the responses of plain likes, and another page on the same site says they're twice as likely to lead to a date. Neither links the data behind the claim. One dater who tracked her own likes found that likes with a comment matched slightly less often than likes without one. She noted it wasn't a controlled test, and that she was more likely to comment on people she found especially eligible, which could explain the gap.

So the honest read is that a good comment probably helps, the size of the help is unknown, and a bad comment doesn't help at all.

Add it when you can point to something specific on her page. A named place, an odd detail in a photo, a line in a prompt that made you smile. If the comment could be sent to any woman on the app, it isn't a comment, it's a "hey" with extra steps.

Some of the dating coaches who write about this offer a simple test. If you can't think of a real comment in about 15 seconds, send the plain Like and move on. A forced, generic line is barely better than none.

A plain Like is fine when:

• Nothing on her profile gives you a genuine reaction, but you'd still like to meet her.
• You're going through a lot of profiles and the Like is only a signal.
• Her prompt is short and any comment would just repeat it.

Hinge+ and HingeX subscribers can send unlimited Likes, but free daters can't, so don't spend a plain Like on a profile you'd skip. And don't send plain likes to avoid the work every time. They tell her only that you pressed a button, and it's possible to send one without reading her profile.

a dating coach's method starts with her page. He scrolls for anything unusual that he can comment on and tease about, and he prefers a prompt to a photo because it feels more genuine and less superficial. Then he writes a short line that reacts to it.

The shape is two parts. First, the detail that's really hers. Second, a reaction that gives her something to push against: a guess, a mild disagreement, a small confession, a choice between two things.

a dating coach's rule is that shorter is better when it says the same thing in fewer words. He keeps a text to one or two ideas at most, because more than that is hard to answer.

Skip these:

• "Hey," "what's up," or "where are you from." Anyone can send them.
• Compliments on her looks. She's read forty of them this week.
• Your résumé. Your job and your travels can wait until she asks.
• A second idea. Comment on her dog, her job and her trip and she'll answer none.

Three shapes you can borrow. These aren't scripts, so swap in the real detail:

• Her prompt says she's bad at parking: "I need the worst parking story. Does the dent still have a name?"
• Her photo is on a hike: "That ridge looks like it's mostly rock and regret. Was the view worth it, or did you just want the picture?"
• Her answer is a joke: "Fine, that one was good. Trade you the worst pun I know for the story behind it."

Each one is about her, takes a side, and ends on something she can answer in a sentence.

After you tap Like on some photos or prompts, Hinge may show up to three Convo Starters under it. Hinge says they're meant to inspire you, not write the message for you, and you decide what to send. They don't appear on every photo. Hinge says you may not see tips on selfies or group photos, on voice, video or poll prompts, or on sensitive topics.

If you send one unchanged it will read like it came from the app, because it did. Use it as a nudge and rewrite it with a detail from her page that no starter could know.

Hinge's Comment Filter lets her hide incoming comments that contain disrespectful language, plus any words, phrases or emojis she picks. Hinge says the auto filter is on by default once she upgrades to a qualifying version of the app. A filtered comment sends no notification. Your profile only appears in her Hidden Likes with the note "Comment Hidden," and Hinge doesn't tell you it was hidden.

That's one more reason to keep comments clean. A crude joke or a comment on her body can keep her from seeing your Like the normal way.

The comment only has to earn a reply. The date gets made in the next few exchanges. Answer quickly, give her one small thing about yourself in return, and avoid asking six questions in a row.

When the exchange has some life in it, name a day and a place. a dating coach moves a woman from the app to her number in about four to seven messages, and the number leads to a drink.