Hey hey and yo yo. This is Ciaran breaking down Joe’s video about what to do when you’re fed up with chasing girls

You send the first text each morning. You ask all the questions. You suggest every place to meet. She gives short replies and never picks a day.

Then you tell yourself she’s busy.

Maybe she is. But if she likes talking to you, she’ll give you something to work with. She may not text all day. She may not make the first move every time. Still, she’ll answer with more than “haha” and “maybe.” She’ll help set a time when you ask her out.

Look at what she does, not what you hope she means.

A guy I coached kept texting a woman who took two days to reply. Each reply had four or five words. He sent long messages to keep the chat alive. When he asked her to meet, she said, “I’ll let you know.”

He waited. Then he sent another message.

His problem wasn’t that he needed a better text. He had already been given enough information. She wasn’t making room for him. He needed to stop spending his time there.

You don’t need to be rude. You don’t need to send an angry goodbye. You just stop starting the conversation. If she wants to see you, she knows where to find you.

Long texting can make you feel close to a woman you’ve never met. You learn what food she likes. You send jokes at night. You talk about past relationships. You feel as if something is growing.

Then you ask to meet, and she avoids the question.

You spent two weeks building a private relationship inside your phone. She may have liked the attention. She may have enjoyed the chat. That still doesn’t mean she wanted to date you.

Ask her out after a short, fun exchange. You don’t need ten days of proof.

Try this:

“Let’s get a drink near the park on Thursday. Are you free at seven?”

That line gives her a clear plan. It also gives you a clear answer. If she says yes, set the place. If she can’t make it but offers another time, keep talking. If she says she’s busy and gives you no other option, stop pushing.

You aren’t trying to force a date. You’re finding out if she wants one.

The same rule works in person. Talk to her for a few minutes, make her laugh, and ask for her number. Then suggest a simple date soon after. Don’t spend every night sending messages to a woman who has never sat across from you.

Many men focus on the woman they find most attractive. They excuse every weak reply because they want her badly. They ignore women who show clear interest because those women feel less exciting.

That choice keeps you stuck.

A woman who smiles when you speak, asks questions, and makes time to see you is showing you where to put your effort. You don’t need to pick her just because she likes you. You do need to notice the difference between interest and wishful thinking.

Watch for simple signs:

• She asks about your life instead of only answering your questions.
• She laughs, stays close, or keeps the talk going when she could leave.
• She replies with enough detail to keep the exchange moving.
• She accepts a plan or suggests another time.

No single sign proves she wants a relationship. You’re looking at the whole exchange. Does she make contact easier, or do you have to pull every word from her?

One student told me he had “bad luck with women.” He met women at bars, got numbers, and then spent his time chasing the ones who gave him little back. When he started inviting women out sooner and giving his time to the ones who responded well, dating stopped feeling like a daily fight.

His results changed because his choices changed.

When a woman turns you down, it can sting. When several women turn you down, you may start making rules such as, “Women only want rich men,” or, “There’s no point in trying.”

Those rules protect your pride for a few hours. They also keep you from seeing what happened.

Maybe you spoke to women only in places where they were hard to reach. Maybe you waited too long to ask them out. Maybe you chose women who showed little interest because you liked the challenge. Maybe you sent five texts after she stopped replying.

Write down the facts.

You approached her at a coffee shop. She smiled and gave you her number. You sent a message that night. She replied once, then stopped. You sent two more messages. She didn’t answer.

That story is clear. You got some interest, then she chose not to continue. It hurts, but it doesn’t say that every woman will treat you the same way.

Take the lesson without turning it into a belief about all women. Change the part you control. Ask sooner. Send fewer texts. Leave when the effort stays one-sided.

Chasing gets worse when dating becomes your only source of excitement. You check your phone every few minutes. You cancel plans in case a woman texts. You spend a whole evening writing one reply.

Keep your normal life in place. Train at the gym. See your friends. Work on a skill. Go to places where you enjoy being, even when you don’t meet anyone.

This doesn’t mean pretending you don’t care about women. It means one woman’s reply doesn’t control your whole evening.

You should want her attention. You shouldn’t need one message from her to decide whether the evening was good.

The cleanest way to stop chasing is to stop rewarding weak interest with strong effort. Give your time to women who use theirs to meet you halfway.