Daygame Openers That Do Not Sound Like Lines

An opener sounds like a line when it is rehearsed, clever or built to get a reaction. The ones that do not are plain, honest and tied to what is happening right now. Say why you stopped her, in your own words, in a relaxed voice, and give her an easy way to answer.

Delivery matters more than the words. a dating coach says that attitude is more important than the lines themselves.

A line sounds the same whoever says it. A woman on the street can hear that the sentence was prepared and has nothing to do with her. It also puts a performance between the two of you, when what you want is a normal exchange.

a dating coach is clear that you can say the right line the wrong way. A good line delivered in a boring, logical voice does not work, and it can sound strange. In his words, flirting "is not a line that you use, it's an attitude that you use," and the line without the attitude is terrible.

Whatever you say, it should do three things.

1. Get her attention.
2. Tell her why you stopped her.
3. Make it easy for her to answer.

That is all. It does not need to be funny, deep or surprising. A short, true sentence meets all three.

The simplest category is saying what is real: you saw her and wanted to say hello.

• "Hi, I know this is out of nowhere, but I saw you and wanted to introduce myself."
• "Sorry to interrupt. You caught my eye and I did not want to walk past without saying hi."
• "Hey, I am [your name]. I noticed you and thought I would come over."

These work because there is nothing to decode. She knows what is happening, and she can answer in any way she likes.

A comment about the place you both share explains your presence without any claim about her. It is the easiest way to sound natural, because it is true.

• The cafe: "That looks good. Is it as good as it looks?"
• The bookstore: "Have you read that one? I keep picking it up and putting it back."
• The park: "Is that your dog? He looks like he runs the place."
• The street: a shared moment, such as a street performer, a long line or odd weather.

You are not asking for her opinion on anything deep. You are saying a normal thing to someone nearby.

Some familiar ones sound like lines the moment they leave your mouth.

• "You look familiar."
• "Can I ask you a quick question?" with no real question behind it.
• "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
• Anything sexual as an opener.
• Anything you copied from a list.

If you use a pretend reason, such as asking for directions you do not need, you spend your first sentence being dishonest and she may notice.

The same sentence can feel easy or strange, depending on how you say it.

• Speak at a normal pace. Rushing signals nerves, and slow, heavy delivery signals performance.
• Look at her, not past her. Eye contact tells her you mean it.
• Smile before you speak. It sets the tone for a friendly interruption.
• Stop talking after the opener. Give her room to answer.
• Do not apologize three times. One "sorry to bother you" is polite. Three is a plea.

If you go blank, say the simplest thing you can: "Hi." a dating coach describes a good approach for a man with approach anxiety as to "physically walk up to a girl and utter a sound." You can build from there.

Many men feel safer with something prepared, and that is fine for a while. a dating coach says that lines are a kind of training wheels. They get you started, but the aim is to understand what the interaction needs and come up with the right thing on the spot.

Treat any prepared opener as a starting point. Change the words until they sound like you, and drop it when it starts feeling like a script.

You cannot hear how you sound. A coach beside you can, and he can say whether the opener came across as warm, nervous or rehearsed. a dating coach says that sometimes major mistakes "can be corrected with literally one comment," and openers are a common place for that.

On a Cold Approach Bootcamp that feedback comes after every set, over two four-hour blocks per training day in Miami or New York.