Can You Change Your Name or Age on Facebook Dating

No. Facebook says there are some things you can't change in Dating, and your name and age are both on that list. There is no setting inside Dating that edits them, so the useful question is not how to change them but how to work with them.

Your name and your age are fixed in Dating. Most of the rest can be edited: your photos, your prompt answers, and the details you added when you set up your Dating profile.

It also helps to know what women actually see. Some details stay hidden. Facebook says your gender identity is not shown on your Dating profile, and neither is the gender identity you want in matches. Your Dating location is shown. So she sees your name, your age and your Dating location, along with everything you chose to add.

Men who ask this question often hope to take a few years off. On Facebook Dating that is not an option, and that is better for you than it sounds.

A lie about age has to be confessed at some point, usually at the worst possible moment: on the first date, when she has just told a friend how honest you seem. Starting with the real number means there is nothing to confess. You never spend a date waiting for the question.

It also filters for you. The women who like you at your actual age are the ones worth meeting, because they are the ones who will still like you on the third date.

Facebook says Dating suggests people based on your preferences and on information from your Dating profile, and age is one of the details it names.

That means your real age places you in front of women whose preferences fit it. If you feel you are being shown to the wrong age range, look at the preferences you set for yourself. Those you can change.

Sooner or later she may ask about it, or tease you about it. How you answer matters far more than the number.

Do not apologize for it and do not explain it. "Yes, I'm 44. I've had time to figure out what I like, and a good first date is near the top of the list" is warm, confident, and moves the conversation along. A long defense of why you look younger than you are does the opposite.

If she says your age is outside what she wants, accept it gracefully. Some women have a firm range, and no line will change that. Thank her and move on to a conversation with someone who is interested.

Age is one detail among many, and it is the one you cannot change. Put your energy into the ones you can.

Take care of your body and your grooming. Dress in clothes that fit you properly. Show a life she would want to be part of: friends, interests, places you go. Women tend to respond to value shown quietly, a relaxed photo on a trip with friends rather than a list of achievements.

A man in his forties who looks fit, dresses well, and clearly has a full life is competitive with men years younger. He does not need a different number next to his name.

Your name is fixed too, which occasionally matters. If everyone calls you by a middle name or a nickname, say so early in the conversation. "It says Robert, but only my mother calls me that. It's Rob." Most women find a detail like that endearing.

If you are uneasy about your name being visible because of your job, remember who can see it. Your current Facebook friends cannot see your Dating profile at all. If you want a wider gap between Dating and the rest of your life, you can also switch off suggestions of friends of friends in your privacy settings.

Either way, the name she sees is your real one, and that works for you too. It tells her she is talking to a real man with a real life, which makes saying yes to a first drink much easier for her.