Best Coffee Shops in NYC for Meeting Women

The best coffee shop for meeting women is the one where people stay a while and talk, not the one with the best coffee. A shop with a long line, a few shared tables and a crowd that looks relaxed will give you more chances than a famous one where everyone is hunched over a laptop with headphones on.

We do not publish a ranked list of named shops, because the shop matters less than the moment. Learn what makes a good one and you can find it in any neighborhood.

Some do and some do not, and you can usually tell which before you walk over.

A woman who is reading a book with her eyes up, or waiting for a friend with nothing to do, or standing in line with a free moment, is often glad of a short chat. A woman with headphones in and a deadline on her screen is not. She came to work, and the polite thing is to leave her alone.

a dating coach's test for any approach works here as well. Read her first. If she is busy, hurried or plainly not interested, you let her go. If she is relaxed and open, you can say hello.

Look for these features, in roughly this order:

• A line you wait in. Standing in line side by side is the easiest place in the whole shop to say something. She cannot go anywhere, and a remark about the menu costs nothing.
• Shared or close tables. When tables are close together, a conversation is not an intrusion.
• Windows and seats that face the room. People who sit facing out are often open to company. People who sit facing the wall are not.
• A mixed crowd, not a work crowd. A shop full of laptops is a library. You want people with coffee and a little time.
• A place to stand. A counter or a window ledge where you can chat without hovering over someone's table.

Avoid places so busy that you cannot hear each other, and places so quiet that a conversation carries across the room.

New York is a walking city, so think in neighborhoods, not addresses.

a dating coach calls it his favorite city for learning, mostly because the supply of strangers is close to endless. If it goes badly you will probably never see her again, and it is soon forgotten.

For daytime he leans toward parks. His reason is simple: someone who came out to sit in a park came out to be among people. That points you to the cafés and carts next to the parks, such as the ones around Washington Square Park, Union Square and Bryant Park. The West Village is easy to wander on foot, and SoHo has crowded sidewalks and plenty of shops with cafés beside them.

Weekend mornings are often easier than weekday mornings. On a weekday, many people are running to work. On a weekend, more of them have time.

a dating coach also warns about the street itself. Many people have headphones in or are packed into crowds, so a spot where people stop is a better place to start than a sidewalk.

A good coffee shop conversation is a few minutes long. You open with something about the place or the moment, you listen, you share something small, and you see how she reacts.

If she leans in, asks you something or laughs, you can ask for her number or suggest a coffee another day. If she gives short answers and turns back to her screen, thank her and let it go. There will be more women in more shops.

Do not hover. Do not circle the room three times. Decide, walk over, and speak within a few seconds.

Many men know all of this and still cannot make themselves walk over. That is a different problem and it is common.

At a Cold Approach Bootcamp in New York your coach stands next to you in the field, coaches each approach as it happens, and gives you feedback after every set. Group is three students at most per coach, and Private is fully one-on-one, arranged after booking. You leave with a written practice plan.

Is a coffee shop better than a bar for meeting women?

For talking, usually yes. You can hear each other, there is no pressure to drink, and a short chat does not need an excuse.

Should I go to the same shop every day?

A regular spot can help, because the staff and other regulars get used to you. You can also rotate between a few. What matters is that you speak to people when you are there.